College was hard for me too. But I was much older than you and as any zombie will tell you, “older brains aren't as fresh as new ones.”🤢
I ended up spending literally ALL my time studying, even on weekends. Things I would have a hard time memorizing, I would print in large letters and tape them on the walls so I would see the notes as I walked by several times a day; as I walked by the notes I would pause, read the note, then move on. I remember I wanted to quit several times, but as my grades improved the sense of accomplishment was like a fuel that kept me going. I had to give up on social life for a while, but it was worth it for me. I guess each of us has to evaluate if it is worth the effort, and accept the fact that learning is much easier for some than for others.
I wish you well and would like to encourage you not to give up. Life is a struggle sometimes; Ok, many times. But it is definitely worth it. Many times I look back on the struggles as being some of the best parts of my life. They help define you and prepare you for whatever lies ahead. Believe it or not, the more you struggle, the easier you will conquer future struggles.
And as far as not wanting to return to an earthly existence; don’t let that fact that we all struggle with something scare you. The thing that would scare me is the thought of “what kind of world would I be returning to?” Visions of Global gang wars for what limited resources left and cannibalism would give me a reason to pause. Then maybe I watch too many Si-Fi movies. 😉 nwm. . .
