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The worst part is, they say I'm the hero, they continue to use my kindness...

But not once has anyone considered that I haven't been paid, that I will have to find another job and can't be free help and that I have a child I need to be home for.

And most of all, how this has affected me.

I think my kindness is tapped out and I'm changing as a person.

I've been through so many things that opened my eyes and changed me, but this is my final resignation.

I've always wanted to help people and it feels good to help and do the right thing. But maybe I put too much focus on the part where people should like me. That this will somehow result in a reciprocal, harmonious way and my heart will feel warm.

Do people do nice things but don't enjoy the warm part?

Where do I find warmth when those I help only turn around and forget I'm a person too?

I do things to be kind, not for reciprocation, but for the good energy it creates and passes forward. But right now I'm just getting used again. I definitely don't do nice things to get dumped on.

I'm tired of blaming myself and thinking I'm stupid and claiming being bad at who I choose to extend myself too. It's starting to feel like everyone just takes.

Needless to say, I can't be a hero. But sadly I don't think I can be a nice person anymore either.

Not in ways that anyone will know.
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SageWanderer · 70-79, M
I think that you, much like myself, have hit the burnout stage. Anymore if I even hear of anyone who has in my real life circle who has a chronic illness or medical problems my flight impulse kicks in.

It’s not that you don’t care but you have cared too much. Then the empty lonely feeling sets in when you need the emotional support.

You don’t need to be nice, just set boundaries.
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
@SageWanderer it is such an empty alone feeling. I can't need anything, I can't count on anyone to care, and if I get hurt it's my fault for being nice.

I have weird feelings towards boundaries. It goes against everything I feel inside. And I have never once in my life gotten any enjoyment from taking, so I don't understand.