The worst part is, they say I'm the hero, they continue to use my kindness...

But not once has anyone considered that I haven't been paid, that I will have to find another job and can't be free help and that I have a child I need to be home for.

And most of all, how this has affected me.

I think my kindness is tapped out and I'm changing as a person.

I've been through so many things that opened my eyes and changed me, but this is my final resignation.

I've always wanted to help people and it feels good to help and do the right thing. But maybe I put too much focus on the part where people should like me. That this will somehow result in a reciprocal, harmonious way and my heart will feel warm.

Do people do nice things but don't enjoy the warm part?

Where do I find warmth when those I help only turn around and forget I'm a person too?

I do things to be kind, not for reciprocation, but for the good energy it creates and passes forward. But right now I'm just getting used again. I definitely don't do nice things to get dumped on.

I'm tired of blaming myself and thinking I'm stupid and claiming being bad at who I choose to extend myself too. It's starting to feel like everyone just takes.

Needless to say, I can't be a hero. But sadly I don't think I can be a nice person anymore either.

Not in ways that anyone will know.

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SageWanderer · 70-79, M

I think that you, much like myself, have hit the burnout stage. Anymore if I even hear of anyone who has in my real life circle who has a chronic illness or medical problems my flight impulse kicks in.

It’s not that you don’t care but you have cared too much. Then the empty lonely feeling sets in when you need the emotional support.

You don’t need to be nice, just set boundaries.

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@SageWanderer it is such an empty alone feeling. I can't need anything, I can't count on anyone to care, and if I get hurt it's my fault for being nice.

I have weird feelings towards boundaries. It goes against everything I feel inside. And I have never once in my life gotten any enjoyment from taking, so I don't understand.

Boeing · 36-40

I don't know what to tell you other than, I have too been trying to create this good energy with people but it is all fleeting. You have to be more discerning perhaps towards where you (or should I say we) choose to give, and sometimes you give, and then sometimes you skip.

For me I know I need to give to myself more than what I already do, there's a person within me that feels unjust. I know because I do this silly practice where I allow myself to speak my truth without edits out loud, when none is around, and I say things like "I didn't like that. Can you not take me there again? Can you protect me more next time?" - hope it's not too cringe lol

Losing your job is too much. What are you going to do now?

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Boeing · 36-40

@ScreamingFox maybe rest a bit, whilst looking for something different. Have you tried selling crafts? From few pictures of your home I remember you are so good at making little beautiful things. You could even teach other people, like organizing some workshop in your home if that is possible.

I wish I could help you. I am trying to help myself at the moment..!

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@Boeing help you beautiful 🖤 one day we will be so full we can help each other in ways we don't even know yet

Boeing · 36-40

@ScreamingFox yes, how beautiful! Allow me to add, one day, not so far away 😊

eyeno · M

Anytime you do something for someone and expect something in return, you'll get hurt.
So I'll do it from my Heart knowing I'm a giver.

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@eyeno it's a little more complicated than that actually.

I know that sounds very nice, but not everyone is you.

Degbeme · 70-79, M

How is it you`ve not been paid for your services? You`re owed that. Seek legal council if you can.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

It's nice to be nice, but what's in it for you? It can't be 100 percent selflessness, people can't handle that.

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@uncalled4 all I'm asking for is to not be taken from then dumped half dead somewhere. No it can't be completely selfless. People say they do nice things but don't need anything in return. Yeah that's great for a lot of things, except when the giver is being depleted before they know it. And people do give for a reason. To help. For the warm exchange. It's not just mindless giving.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@ScreamingFox No good deed goes unpunished.

IPmyPants · 41-45, M

Read my post: Beware Advantage Takers.
Close the Last Source Bank
Make loans only on the 31st 0f February, April, June, September and November.
Set Boundaries.

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