Happiness is a choice.

@OogieBoogie Well said ,as usual

@SW-User thanks.
It was a hard lesson to learn .
I mean, the pain is still there, and i dont deny that sometimes it bubbles up and resurfaces .
But to let it rule all my present and future... is pointless .

I cant change the past , but i can learn to let it go ....even if its only bit by bit .💜

@OogieBoogie That’s true. I made a frequent point in most of my comments. The idea of choosing suffering. Think about that for a moment. I started with saying to choose happiness, yet I then went on to say that’s suffering? What gives?

I say that because I acknowledge that life is going to be hardship. It’s not easy and that’s because we must feel the whole spectrum of emotion. Even the negative ones. People have this weird idea that choosing happiness must somehow suggest the ability to deny yourself sadness. That’s not it at all. Happiness is learning the love the place of sadness. You can only do that by accepting it and using it for good in your life instead of bad.

@Reject yep, that's it : accepting the polarity.

I think some people think in extremes . That youre right when you say some people think happiness is being devoid of saddness .
Which is impossible .
As we need one to define the other.

If we could be eternally "happy", our ability to perceive it as happiness would diminish . Like people who take drugs ....they develop a tolerance and need more to feel good . This is the same with happiness . Its imposible to create enough to be eternally happy .

And this is why some people are so depressed . Eternally not living upto an impossible ideal.

We dose our emotinal systems with addictions we dont know we have: food, shopping for useless stuff, internet, movies, etc....and wonder why we arent happy.

Unfortunately, you need to get intimate with your personal demon. Live it , let it burn through you, feel it all. Its only then do you get to know it ....and ultimayely learn to control it by facing it again and again. And allowing some self love in again.

I know this doesnt apply to everything, but even the deepest sorrows need to be allowed to rest sometimes.

I kind of figured - if im going to exhaust myself with negativity, i might as well throw some effort at positivity now and then .

Ive got nothing to lose .

@OogieBoogie Considering all you said that’s accurate. The worst feeling people will ever have is that they can’t do anything about sadness in this world, so they wait for it’s permission to be happy… It’s true that you can’t stop yourself from getting sad at times, but to do nothing about that? Come on.

You know what I do when I wake up and I just know I can’t make the decision to be happy this time? I say bring it on. Make today harder for me. I know that if I can get through it and stay productive in all the ways I need, that shows that sadness is nothing more than a means to be happier than I ever was before. So anything negative that I go through is just an opportunity for greatness. One I take every time.

As you said. It’s about getting intimate with your personal demon. Not trying to escape it. Instead appreciating it for all it is. It just wants to be accepted for not being perfect. If you’re so far gone noticing that you can’t defeat it with hated. Why not try love? Again as you said, there’s nothing to lose at that point.

@Reject it is SO HARD to accept.

Ive done so many embarrassing things when ive had panic attacks.
But pushing through them has been a life lesson . Not running away but letting the wildness rage.

And yes, those bad days ! They just suck . I rant, rave, talk to myslef in imaginary conversations and cry like crazy . But as said, if you cant push it away ...you let yourself dive right in and wring the crap out of it.

@OogieBoogie Yeah! Wring the crap out of it! That’s what I like hear. It’s a fight. An ugly one. People avoid that. You have to fight tooth and nail with this thing and lose. Time again time again until you figure out how to come out on top!

People really like to justify their demons. It’s easier to think you’re right and continue on with misery than it is to admit to yourself you shouldn’t be this way and get in the ring to trade punches. Nothing good comes easy. You must choose the harder path or else this demon, your negativity. It will choose the easier one for you and you’re not going to like the outcome of that. It’s going to send you to my post and say that happiness is definitely not a choice!

@Reject i still think there are moments and times happiness isnt a choice.....but remembering its not an eternal state is cruicial.

Some things are beyond our contol and we cant stop them. But how we perceive them can be.

Death, poverty , ill health are all terrible struggles . Beyond those things....i truly believe there are choices ....hard ones.
But better a hard choice than none at all.🤷‍♀️

@OogieBoogie Of course. Everyone will know a time when happiness wasn’t a choice. Such as everyone will also know a time they couldn’t be strong. This is usually when life has dealt them a bad hand. I think eternal polarity doesn’t always have to be though. I may not be there just yet, but I believe that one day happiness will always be my choice.

Call that impossible if you like, but there was a time when I wouldn’t believe the strength I know now was possible at all. Instead I listened to my elders when they told me there’s nothing I can do. That life is just this way and thems the breaks.

No longer will I be someone who holds myself to limits I know. I’ll find the ones I don’t. I can only do that with faith. Something that has made everything possible. There will always be a fight, but one day, I’m not going to lose anymore. I believe in myself on this. So it will come to be.

@OogieBoogie I’ve really enjoyed talking with you Boogie! I’m currently brainstorming the next step I plan to take with my journey in this seemingly impossible task. Always choosing happiness. If you like, I could let you know of my progress if and when I make any. I’m already acting on a plan I’ve made.

@Reject thankyou.

I dont know , everyones journey is different . And i dont plan. I try to pick one doeable mental or physical process, and try to add it into my life.
Im a one day at a time type person right now.
Im just dealing with my own life.
I choose not to get close to other people as im easily distracted into care mode .....and i kinda need to learn the art if self care, and self introspection.

In fact , im not here as much, becuase of that.
Sw is great, but its also an addiction, and a diversion.

Its about learning to put my focus on me, not on distracting myself too much .

I hope you understand .

It has been a good conversation. Thankyou 🤗

@OogieBoogie I understand. One thing is for sure. You have excellent priorities! Remember, self love is easily defined as any happiness you create for yourself, as yourself, by yourself. I can see you’re well on your way to doing that telling me all you have. So don’t stop! Keep it going and maybe one day you can tell me how far you’ve come. 🤗