Ever feel like you have to buy people?

There's probably a better way to describe this but I feel like I try to buy the company or affection of others
with gifts or actions in the hopes they'll accept me or stick around. I think it stems from the fact that I probably don't have much to offer on my own as a person or maybe it's just how I perceive myself. God, I really hope it's the latter. Regardless it clearly doesn't work which is why I should probably stop for the sake of my own resources and well being. Beyond that I really do like helping people. It's not that I want something in return, I just wish I didn't feel so invisible ? Regardless of where I am. Online, offline etc.

Just a random thought, I wanted to share and get off my chest 😁

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4meAndyou · F

I feel very badly for you, because I grew up in a family that had no idea how to express affection or bond with one another.

My mother was the most closed off. She was unable to kiss her kids, or hug them, and hated to be hugged by them or touched. (Her whole family was like that). BUT she sure knew how to buy presents. She would buy lots of presents when she felt particularly guilty, because she KNEW she sucked as a mother.

My father was an amazing man, who was a "great guy" to all his friends. I grew up watching him snatch the check whenever he went out to dinner with them. He was into the big gesture, and bought big ticket appliances for my grandfather...then ended up being resented by the rest of the family because they couldn't afford to show off like that.

My best advice to you, before you go on in life, is...don't teach that to your kids.

Instead, teach them to be loving. Teach them to be deeply interested in the other people in their lives, because that is the honey that will draw people to you without gifts.