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New Beginning

I was with my soon to be ex wife for 15 years, and we were married for 10 of them. We lived with her mother in her mom's house in Clarksville, TN (about 40 minutes north of Nashville). She told me she no longer wanted to be married, and she kicked me out. I had to move down to FL because I had nowhere else to go. I "celebrated" my 10 year anniversary separated from life as I knew it. I was supremely depressed and in anguish. I ended up in the psych ward, but have found a great therapist, and my meds are working to keep me level. I draw disability from Social Security and the VA. I havent worked since 2014.

I look back and see that I had given up on myself. I dressed in gym shorts, tshirt, and birkenstocks. Everywhere, that was my wardrobe. I was so depressed, I sometimes went a week without a shower. I would sleep 14 or more hours a day. All I did was watch tv, play video games, or mindlessly surfed the web. I let my mental disorders and diagnoses define and limit me. Well, something changed in the last 60 days. I have gone from waking up around 10 or 11 to waking up at 6am through the week; wake up at 7 on the weekends. I started doing this in preparation of starting my own business next month. I have started taking care of personal hygiene as well as keeping my living space cleaned up and organized. I am making plans to better my life so that I can be the blessing to others Ive always wanted to be.

I havent told anyone that Im starting a business other than 2 family members. For once, I feel extremely optimistic about what the future holds.
Mamapolo2016F
Yesss!

[quote]Let us, then be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labour and to wait.[/quote]
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Congratulations! I am happy for you! Many people let trauma or diagnoses define them. They just stop there. You have proved to yourself that a divorce can be a positive beginning in your life. You are courageous and intelligent. Your business will do well. It won't be easy, yet you are well on your way! Bravo!
graphite61-69, M
Women file 80% of divorces but men still get blamed for the breakup of marriages, under the presumption he must've done something to deserve it (even if he didn't). Glad you're back on your feet.
JediJesus46-50, M
@graphite In the beginning of our relationship, I was undiagnosed, untreated, and unmedicated. I would have insane bouts of mania (spent all the money in the account to the detriment of all else, doing drugs frequently, flirted with other women, and would stay up with less than 2 hours of sleep a day). To my shame, I did cheat. More than once. Because I didnt think or care about consequences, I lived totally in my id, totally in the monent. I almost died because the drug I actually took was not the drug I thought I paid for. I was a destructive force. Initially, after I had a total psychotic break, my wife said she forgave me, wanted to stay married, and loved me in spite of myself. I wish that we wouldve gone to actual marriage counseling and therapy together instead of just me getting therapy. She woke up one day and it was too much. She started to go to therapy in November 2020. She decided she didnt want to be married to me anymore and dropped the bomb on me in May 2021. Ive been in Florida ever since 5.28.21
If I had it to do all over, I would seek professional help sooner, not hit drugs so hard and often, not cheat, and love her as she deserves. I cant change the past, but I can make better choices now to ensure I dont repeat history.
Dv8rs18-21, F
Good for you, and I feel with your optimism, your future will blossom into a beautiful life.
melbeacher56-60, M
Good luck with your business. Sounds like you are making progress. Keep it up !
Heavenlywarrior36-40, M
Congratulations 馃帀馃嵕 I鈥檓 happy for you and keep believing in you man!
Carissimi70-79, F
This is wonderful! I wish you success.
SunshineGirl36-40, F
Congratulations and good luck for the future 馃檪
SW-User
Good luck to you. Never give up. 馃憤馃徏馃憤馃徏馃憤馃徏馃寛馃寛馃寛馃寛
Lilliesandlight41-45, F
That's awesome 鈽猴笍
Best of luck. Be safe and but we鈥檒l.
Human1000M
As in last train to?
JediJesus46-50, M
@Human1000 the very same
uncalled456-60, M
Great news! Best of luck to you.

 
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