10 Best Candidates To Replace Graham Platner
Eric Swalwell: Among creepy Democrats with congressional experience, he's the most qualified.
Jack the Ripper: Though still as yet unidentified, this British serial killer checks all the boxes.
Bill Cosby: A history of sexual misconduct AND he's black. Done deal.
Wilhelm the Rapin' Nazi: Unlike Platner, this guy's very up-front about both being a Nazi and all that raping.
Harvey Weinstein: A long-time favorite of famous Democrats.
Jared from Subway: If skeevy candidates with really unsettling pasts are what they're looking for, it doesn't get any skeevier or more unsettling than this.
Prince Andrew: Technically no longer a prince, he's probably looking for a fresh start.
Steve: Ugh. Steve is the worst.
Diddy: Everyone knows celebrity candidates tend to do well with voters.
Hunter Biden: Time to continue the family legacy.
Jack the Ripper: Though still as yet unidentified, this British serial killer checks all the boxes.
Bill Cosby: A history of sexual misconduct AND he's black. Done deal.
Wilhelm the Rapin' Nazi: Unlike Platner, this guy's very up-front about both being a Nazi and all that raping.
Harvey Weinstein: A long-time favorite of famous Democrats.
Jared from Subway: If skeevy candidates with really unsettling pasts are what they're looking for, it doesn't get any skeevier or more unsettling than this.
Prince Andrew: Technically no longer a prince, he's probably looking for a fresh start.
Steve: Ugh. Steve is the worst.
Diddy: Everyone knows celebrity candidates tend to do well with voters.
Hunter Biden: Time to continue the family legacy.
70-79, M
