Where the hell is my left hiding?

I'm not talking about the left who uses violence. I'm not talking about the left who doesn't question anything and just does. I'm not talking about the left who think at the only way to be free is to not be free. I'm talking about my type of left: the left where they don't use violence, but believe in peace and love. The type of left where they do question everything to the point of not even being afraid to be just a little bit conspiratorial, if that's necessary. A type of left where it's okay to be who you are, and they want freedom, and they don't see hate in anything. If you know where that type of left is hiding, let me know. Because right now, in this current era, it just seems like a lot of left-wingers are really just conservatives in sheep's clothing. It seems like we've forgotten our values of peace and love, and we have gotten our values of inner individuality. We have forgotten our counterculture roots, which really scares me. So again, if you know where my type of left is hiding, let me know.