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British Tourists Pleasantly Surprised By Quality Of American Food, Lack Of Rape Gangs

British tourists visiting the United States have reportedly been surprised by the quality of American food, and also the fact there are no violent hordes of rape gangs roaming the countryside.

Several social media posts by English visitors have already gone viral for highlighting the virtues of American cuisine and the distinct lack of rape.

"These cheeseburgers are incredible, and also there aren't all those rapists," noted Englishman Fredrick Hanover. "Americans were totally right about In-n-Out."

The 2026 World Cup, which runs from June 11 to July 19, is co-hosted by Canada, Mexico, and the United States — with the majority of matches taking place in America. The U.S. is playing host in eleven major American cities including Atlanta, Boston, Dallas, Houston, Kansas City, Los Angeles, Miami, New York, Philadelphia, San Francisco, and Seattle. As a result, many tourists (and even players) are seemingly becoming radicalized by the American dream of free refills, free water, and — outside of LA or NY — no rape.

According to sources, U.S. Soccer Foundation Founder Alan Rothenberg, who played a key role in bringing the World Cup to the states, convinced FIFA to let America host the event by not raping them.

"FIFA was a little skeptical at first since we keep calling it soccer, but in the end, the lack of rape was a major deciding factor," Rothenberg said. "And everyone loves a big American cheeseburger."

At publishing time, several Englishman had announced they were defecting to the United States.
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AthrillatheHunt · 51-55, M
The Scots outdrank the city of Boston. The city of Boston !
ArishMell · 70-79, M
@AthrillatheHunt Well done, Scotland! :)
AthrillatheHunt · 51-55, M
@ArishMell even if they lose every match they still go home w bragging rights
You mean… we don’t go to jail for memes here? 😑
Waveney · M
Except not a word of that is true, is it :)
sunsporter1649 · 70-79, M
@Waveney Independent report commissioned by Member of Parliament Rupert Lowe

"The Rape Gang Inquiry examined the systematic targeting of vulnerable girls, overwhelmingly White British, by predominantly Muslim Pakistani gangs across towns and cities throughout the United Kingdom.

The scale of the crimes committed is staggering. It has been previously established that, at the very least, 250,000 young white girls have been subjected to repeated rape, gang rape, trafficking, torture, pregnancy, forced Islamic conversion, and lifelong trauma. The true number is probably higher. The perpetrators bear primary responsibility, yet the institutional failures that enabled them for decades must also be confronted. In court records and official inquiries, around 87% of those convicted in these group-based child sexual exploitation (‘CSE’) cases bore distinctively Muslim names. The vast majority of men involved in these gangs were not convicted. Dr. Taj Hargey, an imam with the Oxford Islamic Congregation, believes the true proportion of gang members who are Muslims to be around 95%. This figure far exceeds the Muslim share of the overall United Kingdom population.

Girls as young as 11 were initially befriended by a young Muslim man who then treated the young child like an adult and would then start providing them with alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes. After a few months the girls would then be collected from school gates, care homes, and streets in taxis. They were taken to houses, flats, restaurants, and hotels where they were raped repeatedly by groups of men, tortured, filmed for blackmail, and told they were ‘white trash’ or ‘kuffar’ who merited punishment. Many became pregnant while still children. Some miscarried under trauma, others endured coerced abortions, and some gave birth to children who were later removed by the state.

We found that the same unspeakable crimes occurred in at least 149 local authority districts – close to 40% of all such districts across the United Kingdom. Survivors described daily rapes, ‘red rooms’ of extreme torture, trafficking between cities, and institutional disbelief that compounded their suffering. Some girls were even trafficked to the Middle East where they would endure Islamic marriage.

Were Britain functioning effectively, these girls would have received considerable state protection. However, every one of our institutions failed them catastrophically. Police forces ignored repeated reports, criminalised victims instead of perpetrators, destroyed evidence, and allowed known rapists to walk free on bail. Social care services undermined protective parents, placed children in trafficking hubs inside children’s homes, closed cases despite clear indicators of exploitation, and retaliated against whistleblowers. The NHS recorded genital injuries, multiple sexually transmitted infections in children as young as 13, pregnancies caused by rape, and suicide attempts, yet discharged victims back to their abusers without safeguarding referrals or trauma care. Schools observed older men collecting girls at the gates, heard disclosures of rape on school premises, and responded by excluding victims rather than protecting them. Taxi licensing authorities renewed permits for drivers who formed the logistical backbone of the networks and collapsed in the face of organised protests when basic safety measures were proposed."
Waveney · M
@sunsporter1649 I stopped reading when I saw the words Rupert Lowe. It's funny how every time someone like him posts about grooming gangs they insist the facts are devastating, then immediately reach for numbers they can't actually substantiate.

250,000 victims? Not an established count.

87% Muslim names? Not an official national statistic.

149 districts? Not a recognised finding of any national inquiry.

The abuse was real. The institutional failures were real. But dressing established facts up with inflated figures and contested claims doesn't strengthen his argument. It advertises, quite clearly, that Rupert Lowe is more interested in outrage than accuracy.

Luckily, the British people are seeing right through him.
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AthrillatheHunt · 51-55, M
@ArishMell the borough of queens New York has the best food in the world bar none
ArishMell · 70-79, M
@AthrillatheHunt Even in a country the size of yours?

I used to know a woman who had returned to England after years of running a Southern-States themed restaurant in Australia. She told me some of the local newspaper reviewers doubted the realism of the food.

In fact the critics were used to others selling food that was good, but did not realise it was Aussie-biased versions of the original recipes. My friend used recipes sent to her by contacts in Louisiana, Tennessee, etc.

 
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