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America Graciously Converts 20 Iranian Warships Into New Submarines

In a sign of enormous good will, American forces helpfully converted 20 Iranian warships into submarines.

"Several Iranian warships are not sitting at the bottom of the Persian Gulf," reported War Secretary Pete Hegseth. "We hope the Iranian people take this complimentary act as a sign of good faith on our part that we are eager to resume negotiations and end this conflict."

As part of Operation Epic Fury, American submarines approached several Iranian frigates and corvette-class ships under the cover of darkness to carefully convert them to submersible watercraft with the use of Mk-48 heavyweight torpedoes.

"Did you know Iran had zero submarines? Zero submarines, it's true," President Trump said, following the successful mission. "Now they have at least twenty and more on the way. You're welcome, Iran!"

Unfortunately, according to sources, Iranian leadership had not interpreted the American's benevolent gift as well as Trump had hoped. In fact, the latest intel suggests Iran didn't like their ships being sent to the depths of the ocean at all.

At publishing time, President Trump, though hurt by Iran's ungratefulness, vowed to helpfully turn their city into a parking lot.
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ArishMell · 70-79, M
A touch of satire - but it would not surprise me if Trump really does think the Iranians have no (real) submarines.

They have three, ex-Soviet, attack boats; i.e. ones designed to sink enemy submarines and surface vessels.

And of course, now, they really have lost a warship, torpedoed by an US submarine far away off the coast of Sri Lanka. The ship managed a Mayday call in time for the Sri Lankans to rescue about forty people, and recover many bodies; but a lot are still missing.
Thinkerbell · 41-45, F
At publishing time, it was further disclosed that NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani is furious at the sinking of the Iranian warships. "It's absolutely outrageous!" he fumed. "Those Iranian ships were merely protecting world-wide commercial shipping passing through the Strait of Hormuz from Somali pirates! Now there is nothing to insure the safety of that shipping!" he shouted, according to exclusive sources close to the matter.
AthrillatheHunt · 51-55, M
We are helping the marine ecosystem of the Persian gulf by creating underwater steel reefs where fish and other marine life can live and flourish .
ArtieKat · M
Serious issue but I chuckled
PatKirby · M
Does this mean the Iranian navy won't be floating any new ideas anytime soon?
Thinkerbell · 41-45, F
@PatKirby

And their old ideas of destroying the Great and Little Satans seem to have lost some buoyancy also.

 
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