Mamdani Orders Flags At One World Trade Center Flown Half-Staff To Mourn Ayatollah

Mayor Zohran Mamdani has ordered all flags at One World Trade Center to be flown at half-staff to mourn the death of Ayatollah Khamenei.

Breaking down in tears at the news of the Ayatollah's passing, Mamdani stated there was no better way to honor the Supreme Leader than lowering the flag at One World Trade.

"I am horrified by Ayatollah Khamenei's murder at the hands of our armed forces, and am disgusted to even call myself an American," said Mamdani. "He was such a beloved figure. Why, just a month ago, hundreds of thousands of Iranians took to the streets, chanting his name. And then, here comes America to assassinate their cherished leader. What did Khamenei or his proxies ever do to America? I am thereby lowering the flags at One World Trade in honor of the life and legacy of Ayatollah Khamenei."

According to sources, Mamdani has vowed retaliation against America's armed forces. "I will be immediately deploying the NYPD to Tehran," said Mamdani. "I myself will be resigning as Mayor to join the Iranian Revolutionary Guard. America will pay for this!"

At publishing time, Mamdani had decided to instead record a rap video in support of the IRG, as joining them seemed like a lot of work.