7 Changes Mamdani Is Proposing For New York City
Times Square will be renamed Red Square: It will also be the official site of all mass executions going forward.
Creating special "camps" where the city's Jewish population can be "concentrated": It's for their own good.
Authorizing the development of state-run shoplifting centers: This is the clever outside-the-box thinking people need from their elected leaders.
Subway will be free for everyone: The underground transportation system and the sandwich shop.
The Yankees' uniforms will now be rainbow striped: Just what the team needs to compete with the Dodgers in gayness.
Raise the minimum wage to $150,000 a year: Also, make it illegal for any business to close. This is how problems are solved.
Queens will be repopulated with Palestinian refugees: It'll be easy once all the Jews are in the camps.
Creating special "camps" where the city's Jewish population can be "concentrated": It's for their own good.
Authorizing the development of state-run shoplifting centers: This is the clever outside-the-box thinking people need from their elected leaders.
Subway will be free for everyone: The underground transportation system and the sandwich shop.
The Yankees' uniforms will now be rainbow striped: Just what the team needs to compete with the Dodgers in gayness.
Raise the minimum wage to $150,000 a year: Also, make it illegal for any business to close. This is how problems are solved.
Queens will be repopulated with Palestinian refugees: It'll be easy once all the Jews are in the camps.
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