Women have all the control when it comes to becoming a parent. Should men have the right to opt out of parental responsibility?

@bugeye

I agree that men shouldn't be forced to [i]raise[/i] a child they don't want because that's just a recipe for disaster. But why shouldn't they have to provide for it?

@Pikachu sadly some women are forced to raise kids they don't want.. not everyone can access or feels able to access abortions

@Adaydreambeliever

Totally true.

@Pikachu if it wasn't his choice to be a dad he shouldn't have the decision to provide made for him either.

after all women don't have the choice to provide forced on them either. there's always adoption or if the father want's she can give him full custody.

@bugeye

[quote] he shouldn't have the decision to provide made for him either.[/quote]

Why not?

@Pikachu because i don't think anyone has the right to force another to into making a choice they don't want.

i don't see much of a distinction between men being forced to pay child support and women being forced to carry a baby to birth. if we get a choose so should they.

@bugeye ok we shouldn't forget that actually in the process of carrying a child and giving birth there are a whole and massive bunch of feelings.. it's not like giving away a bag of sugar.. emotions are involved and indeed the human body/physiology is designed that way..

There's actually a reason babies are relatively rarely given up for adoption willingly nowdays.. in the past the stigma and the expectation was that unmarried mothers give their baby up for adoption.. it caused a lot of trauma for both the child and the mother... Society changed and now very few mothers are faced with that absolutely awful heart-wrenching decision to have to give their baby away.. The truth is .. even the least maternal woman would be emotionally scarred at having to give the child they carried and gave birth to away.. The process of giving birth and carrying a baby is not without danger either.. so it's not like those are easy options.

@bugeye The difference is one of bodily autonomy. No one gets to decide for you what you must do with your body.
But if a child is born then why shouldn't the father take responsibility for his actions and support it?

@Adaydreambeliever no there not easy choices but that's my point. it's still a choice.

@Pikachu i think he should take responsibility. i just think either everyone get's to choose or nobody does.

if abortions or willing adoptions were outlawed then by all means force him to take on the huge financial burden.

@bugeye sometimes the choice is so hard that there realistically is no choice.. Life experience many times over teaches us that..

@bugeye

The child should struggle in life so that he doesn't have to take responsability?

@Pikachu no. there should be systems in place to help the child. for example Child benefit. everyone pays taxes so it's still fair that way.

@bugeye

Wait...i should pay for someone's child because they don't want to?

@Pikachu why not? speaking as someone from the UK where peoples healthcare is paid by taxes it's not too different.

i don't mind that because someday i might need that healthcare someday

i don't mind paying taxes towards child benefit because i might need that support someday

@bugeye

Ok that's a good point i think.
But i think the difference is that paying for healthcare out of pocket is enough to bankrupt someone.
Paying to support a child you made is not going to beggar you.

@Pikachu it could depending on the income or circumstances. but it's true it's not as expansive. but it does seem to me the fairer option. i mean u said it yourself in the original question "Women have all the control when it comes to becoming a parent." that doesn't seem fair to me.

@bugeye

So wouldn't a system where child support is made to be within the means of the absent parent be perfectly reasonable?

[quote]that doesn't seem fair to me.[/quote]

It's not. And it never can be in a situation where only one person can become pregnant.

@Pikachu maybe it's not 100% fair but it shouldn't be so one sided either. one unintended pregnancy and a guy becomes a meal ticket for 18 years without a say in it after conception.

@bugeye

Maybe!