I Had Anorexia

a part of me still wishes i was stick thin but i realize now that the parts of my body that are a bit "fatter" are never going to look thin in comparison to the thinner parts. i also cannot starve myself it doesn't work i tried a couple times in high school and ended up eating something the after a day of about 500 calories (because of course i kept track) in my system i would wake up the next day feeling so weak that i would get so scared and eat something which always made me throw up a bunch. after going through a few tries of starving for a day waken up weak eating then aggressively puking my guts out i decided that anorexia was not worth it.