Jealous cat.

I have a bit of an issue… I’ve had my cat Ivan for about four years now and we have a really strong connection. He’s the friendliest cat ever. Not once scratches a piece of furniture and always uses the litter box. Literally the best cat I could ever ask for.
However I’m in a new relationship now and for the first year everything was fine. But my partner and I decided to move in together and everything changed. When I’m not home my partner and Ivan get along great. Cuddling, belly rubs and lots of playing. But when I’m home he’s a completely different cat. He’s runs away and hides whenever my partner gets up and walks around. There are times where we thought he got out and ran away because we couldn’t find him. He’s has even bitten/ scratched my partner to the point where we had to take him to the hospital as cat injuries in general can be very dangerous. (Always go to the hospital if a cat draws blood) When I’m home alone with him he’s stuck to me like glue. I know for a fact it’s jealousy but the thing is it’s not like I give him any less attention. I can tell he’s doing it for attention because on the beginning I would coddle him and defend him thinking it was my partners fault. Since I figured it out I’ve stopped coddling him but he still acts different when we’re both around.

Does anyone know how to help me?

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HootyTheNightOwl

Does your partner give Ivan his food and treats??? Ivan needs to build up positive interactions with your boyfriend - so, instead of you being the one who feeds and treats him, let your boyfriend do it instead for a while and that should calm Ivan down with his attacks and jealous behaviour.

Given that you say that it's only happening when you are both in the house, then you need to take a back seat for a while and let Ivan get used to going to him for treats and food. Just hold stronger with it than my soon to be ex does because anyone would think my cat is going to starve to death if he doesn't get his breakfast - despite the heaped bowl of dry food that's so full it overflows.

HiroSB · 26-30, M

@HootyTheNightOwl trust me I’ve thought of that. I don’t really give my pets treats but he actually does feed him.. More so in the evening when I’m at work.

HootyTheNightOwl

@HiroSB Is he only feeding him when you are out of the house or when you are both in, though???

Alternatively, it might help if your boyfriend completely ignores the cat as much as possible (aside from feeding and watering him, obviously, I'm not suggesting animal cruelty here)... then after a few days, reach out and fuss him.

My cat had issues with a neighbour who often visits and he adjusted to him over a while of being ignored and fussed.

4meAndyou · F

It might actually be aggression, re: the biting and scratching.

Running away and hiding is different. Your cat will run away from you if it’s sick or injured. That’s because cats prefer to hide away to protect themselves from potential danger. Stressed or scared cats also run away, as do cats who haven’t been socialized to be around humans. Sometimes, cats need their own space.

You might want to put out a nanny cam, secretly, to make sure your partner is not playing rough with the cat. And give the cat a very high cat tree with a hidey hole so he can get away if he needs to.

https://www.petassure.com/new-newsletters/understanding-cat-biting-and-scratching/

HiroSB · 26-30, M

@4meAndyou thank you for the advice. I do actually have cameras set up for when neither of us are home but I don’t want to be that person that spies on their partner lol like I originally said he is a very friendly cat with everyone but my partner. And he has a whole house to go to, his favourite spot is under the bed. And I have two cat trees with houses attached. One upstairs and one downstairs. I’m just baffled because it’s only when we’re together. He’s a healthy cat. Just doesn’t like it when we’re together.

Gangstress · 41-45, F

Cats are so weird.
That's pretty odd. Gotta be jealousy.
I dont know what you could do to even sort the issue out if honest. They're independent and stubborn at times lol
Is it just that, when youre together? Are you cuddling, holding hands? Is there anything triggering it if that makes sense?

HiroSB · 26-30, M

@Gangstress it’s literally as soon as I walk in to the room. So odd.

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