I was kind of with my sister on this one. And a response to "YOU TRAINED THEM POORLY, WOMAN!"
She was changing in our room when our dad entered. (The door isn't really a proper door, it doesn't have a knob and a lock, it's just a board on a hinge that opens and closes against a magnet). My sister was mad. The consequences of lack of privacy in this house have been so chronic and profound, a metaphor for the lack of boundaries and space, for the lack of letting us be our own individuals, for no isolation to stim, no room to cry.
"WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?? MOVE THE MICROWAVE TO THE GODDAMN KITCHEN INSTEAD OF KEEPING IT IN THE BALCONY NEAR THE FRONT DOOR!"
(You would need to go through my sister's room to reach the balcony and the front door. My dad had wanted to get his food from the microwave that he had put there a few minutes ago.)
Dad has been mad at me and all of us for a while now. He has loved to play victim all his life.
"Ohhhh. But I couldn't have stood up for your mother. I was a sick man, weak to my bones, for I have a cardiac condition, my heart is weak, and I cannot take a physical fight."
If you was a weak man, you had no business being nice to wh.ores either. Go take the beatings, my maa and I had to take them on your behalf and we ain't made of steel either. My maa has a fractured finger thanks to you.
You're not gonna play the victim and tell us we were "rude and ungroomed" daughters, we're literally the product of the trauma you inflicted on us, we're NOT our "mother's poor training" as you claimed it was 2 days back. It must be comforting for you to blame your woman for it, isn't it???? Because it's easy. It's easy to be misogynist. It's easy and comfortable for a man to delude himself into thinking "it was never my fault!". Must put it on the "lower" gender to feel powerful and perfect.
Yeah. Shrimp energy. That's what it is.
You're 75, man, when will you pick some damn balls up and admit to your mistakes????
I fcking hate my maa but I ain't ever taking bullsh.it against her from my dad.
So I put the old man in his place, telling him his decades of education is just dust under my feet because of the comment he made. I let him know that he is still a jaahil, that he was always just a jaahil , for he let us rot in the place he let us rot and then blamed maa for it.
Bit.ch naaa. Don't be mad. You literally called it upon yourself.
The "good daughter" in me holds a lot of guilt for calling him what I did. He's the man who helped me pass all my exams. He taught me every subject in school and despite the emotional, psychological and physical abuse made sure I would pass and get through and then graduate from uni. Then get into my post grad program.
And yet. And yet. And yet....he hurt momma so bad she's cuckoo now, beyond repair, woman's broken af. Woman's clinically crazy.
So...If you put up a scale, which side is heavier?
I ask myself this often.
Cutting through their wrongs feels like cutting into my own flesh. Maa was really hurt that day, so I hurt my dad back, but hurting him in turn hurt me too.
The fck?
"WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?? MOVE THE MICROWAVE TO THE GODDAMN KITCHEN INSTEAD OF KEEPING IT IN THE BALCONY NEAR THE FRONT DOOR!"
(You would need to go through my sister's room to reach the balcony and the front door. My dad had wanted to get his food from the microwave that he had put there a few minutes ago.)
Dad has been mad at me and all of us for a while now. He has loved to play victim all his life.
"Ohhhh. But I couldn't have stood up for your mother. I was a sick man, weak to my bones, for I have a cardiac condition, my heart is weak, and I cannot take a physical fight."
If you was a weak man, you had no business being nice to wh.ores either. Go take the beatings, my maa and I had to take them on your behalf and we ain't made of steel either. My maa has a fractured finger thanks to you.
You're not gonna play the victim and tell us we were "rude and ungroomed" daughters, we're literally the product of the trauma you inflicted on us, we're NOT our "mother's poor training" as you claimed it was 2 days back. It must be comforting for you to blame your woman for it, isn't it???? Because it's easy. It's easy to be misogynist. It's easy and comfortable for a man to delude himself into thinking "it was never my fault!". Must put it on the "lower" gender to feel powerful and perfect.
Yeah. Shrimp energy. That's what it is.
You're 75, man, when will you pick some damn balls up and admit to your mistakes????
I fcking hate my maa but I ain't ever taking bullsh.it against her from my dad.
So I put the old man in his place, telling him his decades of education is just dust under my feet because of the comment he made. I let him know that he is still a jaahil, that he was always just a jaahil , for he let us rot in the place he let us rot and then blamed maa for it.
Bit.ch naaa. Don't be mad. You literally called it upon yourself.
The "good daughter" in me holds a lot of guilt for calling him what I did. He's the man who helped me pass all my exams. He taught me every subject in school and despite the emotional, psychological and physical abuse made sure I would pass and get through and then graduate from uni. Then get into my post grad program.
And yet. And yet. And yet....he hurt momma so bad she's cuckoo now, beyond repair, woman's broken af. Woman's clinically crazy.
So...If you put up a scale, which side is heavier?
I ask myself this often.
Cutting through their wrongs feels like cutting into my own flesh. Maa was really hurt that day, so I hurt my dad back, but hurting him in turn hurt me too.
The fck?
26-30, F
