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This bothers me .....

When someone does or says something and you tell them that it upset or hurt you

Then they say " that's not my intention " ok...but that's not an apology...that's not taking accountability....that's minimizing ...it's diminishing....it's dismissive...it's not ok ....you apologize...you make it right and you try to not do it again ....it's that simple ....

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EldritchFox

YES. This is exactly what my exbf would do. By the end of it they have you apologizing for them hurting you.

It's evil.

Chern0bylplaygr0unds

@EldritchFox maaannn fuq that !

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Chern0bylplaygr0unds

@OlderSometimesWiser exactly...thank you

ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

You own your reactions, though others still hold accountability for unkind words. Yes, words can sting, but your emotional processing belongs to you. If someone continues to say things that bother me, I stop giving them space in my life.

I like this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Chern0bylplaygr0unds

@ChampagneOnIce O understand what you are saying . When you tell someone you have boundary and they cross it more than once it's not a mistake...it's a choice ...

ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

@Chern0bylplaygr0unds Exactly. That is it, and then you have a choice to say, “Bye now.” 😄

WillaKissing · 61-69, M

I have been guilty of this and when it is pointed out to me my immediate reply has always been "I am so sorry that was not my intention please accept my apology". I then wait and make sure we can get past that point before we proceed.

Chern0bylplaygr0unds

@WillaKissing you made an apology and that is a start

WillaKissing · 61-69, M

@Chern0bylplaygr0unds Yes, thank you, and I pause to make sure myself and the other party are ready to move past that point before I go any further as well.

I maybe a sarcastic snarky person but deep inside when I care then you get the empathizer in me.

bijouxbroussard · F

I once knew someone who always said that (and was generally only opening her mouth just to change feet).

My reply was generally, "intentional or not, that was the result !" No apology, and one day her reaction was, "well, that sounds like a 'you' thing !" I agreed that it was, and stopped being available.

Chern0bylplaygr0unds

@bijouxbroussard I'm sure I would stop talking to that person too m

TheHammer · M

What if they didn't know it would upset you

Chern0bylplaygr0unds

@TheHammer Then they didn't know ..but that's not the point I'm trying to make

TheHammer · M

@Chern0bylplaygr0unds
Ok

GoFish · 41-45, F

maybe you didn't tell them off harshly enough 😒

WillaKissing · 61-69, M

@GoFish Well! Go Fish! Yes, draw another card from the apology deck please!

Chern0bylplaygr0unds

@GoFish there's no need until there's a need for it

GoFish · 41-45, F

@WillaKissing lol @Chern0bylplaygr0unds ah well 😒😬

AthrillatheHunt · 56-60, M

I’m just saying lol. No one is responsible for regulating your emotions except you. Don’t expect an apology. Don’t ever expect people to care about your emotional state.

Chern0bylplaygr0unds

@AthrillatheHunt *sniffs
Smells like narcissistic traits *

Noted 😁

Just saying

AthrillatheHunt · 56-60, M

@Chern0bylplaygr0unds respectfully , you expecting people to apologize for your emotional state screams narcissism

Chern0bylplaygr0unds

@AthrillatheHunt yeah that's definitely how that works

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