I Like To Flirt But I Am Shy I noticed I shut down when I'm with handsome/interesting men, and...

You are best matched as an ESFJ with ENFJ, INFP, and ISFP. And of course other ESFJs. These are fairly common types so you should be able to get good choies.

Compare that to my sad situation as an INTJ. I only match well - and from experience I know I only like - types that are the rarest ones. My matching types are 1% to 2% of the population, so just finding them - let alone meeting them - is very tough.

Given that you are an extrovert, I really think your shutting down is just habit and not an ingrained personality trait. You really only need practice.

persistentone22 · M

@kellybear, what you are doing is programming yourself mentally to fail. You are saying "I cannot block out" which actually means "I AM going to block out, and *please* do not let that happen." Who are you asking for the favor? You control your destiny.

What you need to practice saying instead is "I will not block out". YOU are the actor. You are stating as a plain fact that you will be brave. If you say that 20 times you will brainwash yourself and it will make you braver.

persistentone22 · M

Take the test here and publish your results:
http://www.keys2cognition.com/explore.htm

Myers Briggs divides the world of personalities into 16 discrete types, and aside from helping you to know yourself better, it can suggest problems you might have in communicating with specific other types.

SW-User

I've always been shy but less and less as I got older. Trouble is shyness sometimes looks to others like you're not interested. I spoke to and old school friend recently, she said she liked me when we were at school but thought I didn't like her...silly thing is, I fancied her like mad.

KellyBear · 41-45, F

A habit I learned over the years I think, cause I didn't have (much) social contact during all the years with ex (14 years) so thats what I thought....jump into it and just do it hahaha, maybe I should get drunk first :p

persistentone22 · M

Can I suggest you find out your Myers Briggs MBTI personality type? It might give us some insights into your type and compatible types.

SW-User

Being free on the web helps already a bit, just keep talking and trying in RL as well!

SW-User

being shy can be a pain, ask yourself why you're shy and try to work on the answer

KellyBear · 41-45, F

think I know why now essexphil....self protection I guess, afraid to trust again.

KellyBear · 41-45, F

@pone: just did somewhere else, this was the result:

You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (31%)
You have slight preference of Sensing over Intuition (6%)
You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (25%)
You have slight preference of Perceiving over Judging (6%)

persistentone22 · M

Does this sound like you?
http://www.personalitypage.com/ESFP.html

Here is an overview of the 16 types:
http://www.personalitypage.com/html/high-level.html

KellyBear · 41-45, F

@pone: yes I know, I'm aware of that....putting it into practice is sth else though...but yes it is true what you say: positive affirmations help for a number of issues so why not this one :-)

KellyBear · 41-45, F

And I know I tend to overthink things, like.... 'I can't block out, I can't block out....' and then what happens? Right! I block out! And I know this, and still do it.

KellyBear · 41-45, F

@pone22: what's that? Never heard of it or you're kidding me hahaha :p
If I find it, I'll do this tonight.

KellyBear · 41-45, F

no I'm more this one: http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ESFJ.html