I Am Selfish

I lie a lot. To get out of things, to stop myself from getting into trouble, to try and seem more interesting. And I get so, so jealous and angry at things. I just get consumed by all these negative emotions and even though I know they're poisonous I just lap them up and keep on going, allowing myself to hate everyone and everything and I honestly don't know why I do it. It's like there's two parts of me that are wildly opposite and are trying to work together but I'm just so different to myself. If that even makes sense.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

hlpflwthat · M

You're cheating yourself. That's why you do it. And you been doing it so long you don't realize what a fantasy you've created - intentionally or not.

loveyourselfalways00 · 22-25, F

How do you mean?

hlpflwthat · M

Your jealousy and anger and negativity are all the result of liar's stress. You live in constant fear of people learning your truths. That's more fear & stress than we are meant to handle. Your mind and body hate it.

loveyourselfalways00 · 22-25, F

@hlpflwthat: I don't think so, I'm sure they are all related somehow but not quite like that, because the lies are normally pretty small and I think it's because of anger/jealousy that I even lie in the first place

hlpflwthat · M

Lol - you don't think so because you don't know truth.

loveyourselfalways00 · 22-25, F

@hlpflwthat: oh I do. I know when I am lying and when I am not, and I often know when others are lying.

hlpflwthat · M

Do you? I'm going to gently suggest you think hard on that.

You've begun to rationalize - in your mind - that some lies are 'smaller' than others.

loveyourselfalways00 · 22-25, F

Yes because they are. I'm sorry, but anyone will tell you that, whether they lie or not. Some lies could be small like saying you didn't eat that food in the fridge, or some could be big like saying you didn't murder someone 😂

hlpflwthat · M

Which one is more truthful?

loveyourselfalways00 · 22-25, F

Neither but one is still worse/has more impact