I Am Selfish

I lie a lot. To get out of things, to stop myself from getting into trouble, to try and seem more interesting. And I get so, so jealous and angry at things. I just get consumed by all these negative emotions and even though I know they're poisonous I just lap them up and keep on going, allowing myself to hate everyone and everything and I honestly don't know why I do it. It's like there's two parts of me that are wildly opposite and are trying to work together but I'm just so different to myself. If that even makes sense.