I dont think I'm capable of real love.

@NewBeginnings7790 that may be possible.

@Desolate Just remember nothing is perfect and everything takes work. Not everyone gives or receives love in the same way.

@NewBeginnings7790 i understand that concept. My issue is that i feel a void where i used to feel comfort and warmth. Nothing i do seems to be filling it. Ive been cold and distant to those that love/care about me. And despite not being alone i always feel alone. I dont understand it.

@Desolate I’m going to take a guess here.
You’ve been hurt in the past, so much so that you have shut the door on love long ago. Since then not only have you not allowed yourself to love another, but you also haven’t allowed yourself to be loved by someone either.
My guess would be you feel hurt/betrayed/upset about something that recently happened and instead of addressing it, you shut down. Probably because of the trauma you felt from the pain in your past.
My thoughts would be to get past this void, as hard as it will likely be for you to do, would be to address it with those who love you. The feeling alone is because you have a wall up between yourself and those who love you. Try to allow yourself to be vulnerable, be open, tell them about the things you felt hurt, upset, and or betrayed by. You can start slow. Tell them about your past and that you still carry that hurt and trauma from it.
If the one you love are still around after you have been cold and distant, then they aren’t going anywhere because they do love you. But if you don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable with them, and let them love you through it, then you may never believe that love is real and the wall will remain.

Again just my opinions I could be way off, but I promise you that void will fill with warmth and love once you allow the wall to come down. You may even find they have some walls of their own that they struggle with taking down.

@NewBeginnings7790 you're on the right track. In the past i have tried. But its a life long trauma/wall that we've all built. And i as much as i hate to say this.. i have an appearance /facade that i have to maintain. They all come to me with there problems. Im there hero when they dont know where to turn. I cant be vulnerable and show weakness. It pains me to let them down.

Id rather feel the way i do then change the appearance ive built up. It was built out of necessity after my dad passed away, 10 years ago.

@Desolate I understand you feel like your image needs to be protected. But even the hero needs someone to hold him at night. Someone he can fall into after a long day.

@Desolate also being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak, it takes way more strength and courage so it actually makes stronger.

@NewBeginnings7790 i cant bring myself to ask for that.

@Desolate what about allowing yourself to be vulnerable with an outsider someone who you don’t feel the need to keep up the facade with??

@NewBeginnings7790 this is a good option.