I Am Selfish

This is a hard story to write (even anonymously). Replying to someones thoughts regarding kindness brought this to mind though.

My second oldest son and I were going to a ball game about 15 years ago. He was 15. As we approached the ballpark after parking, I noticed a "begger" on the street. This man was a "regular" at this city's sports events. He had a chant supporting the team and a tin can to collect what he could. As we approached, I crossed the street to the other side. My son, always perceptive, asked me why.

I explained to him that I didn't want to walk past the man and not offer anything, so it was less awkward to simply use the other sidewalk. He said, "Why don't you just give him some money?" In a hurry to get to the game, I said the first thing I could think of to end the conversation. "We don't know what he would do with the money. He might use it for something I would not want to support."

At this point, I can imagine a smile on his face as he said, "But you are always saying that everything we have is a gift from God. So why should you care what he does with it. Isn't that God's business." My son was enjoying the tweaking of a parent apparently caught in hypocrisy. What he didn't realize at that moment was that he moved me greatly. He was correct.

The truth was that I didn't want to give up my money. It was mine and I wanted to keep it. I would spend money on concessions, gas, ticket, etc.. none of which was essential. I had no way of knowing what this man would spend th. e money on, but he had yielded his pride to be out there in the street. My son had hit me hard.

We still talk about this from time to time. He no longer has a 15 year old's desire to call out his dad. As a man, he has had to struggle now with the same struggles. How do we live a generous lifestyle, without being foolish or irresponsible. How do we put others first, be kind even with no hope of that kindness being returned.

I wish I could say that I had mastered this art.. that I know how and practice a generous lifestyle. I strive to do so, but it's so easy to be selfish and either keep my blessings or to share them with the hope that someone will notice. I sincerely believe that all of my children are farther along on this than I am.

This story is not written to suggest that anyone else should do what I am striving to do. It is an acknowledgement that my principles and beliefs only have value as I live them.

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greenmountaingal · 80-89, F

Giving to people on the street isn't always a good idea. You could be encouraging and enabling a drug habit or alcohol problem.

I give money to charities that directly help people with things they need. Example: World Vision. I gave someone a couple of chickens last month. You can also buy goats, sheep, ducks, a fish pond or a well with a pump...and many other needed things which they will then give to someone or a family in some desperately poor area of the world.

Arrow17 · 46-50, F

@greenmountaingal I need to say something about charity organisation. A charity had employed sexs predators. Some women had been raped and sexual assaulted. They used charity as an excuse, actually the male workers pay prostitude abroad. They might use charity fund to fulfill they sexual desire. The organisation knows the case but they did not report to the police but covered up the cases.
I don't trust some charity organisations.

I read in National Geographic that French sent a group of army to protect women and children, however they raped Children who have been victims of genocide. Those rapist have never been charging of their crime.

trackman11 · 61-69, M

@greenmountaingal world vision is an excellent organization. Thank you for being generous. 😀

trackman11 · 61-69, M

@Arrow17 these are terrible examples of evil and point out the wisdom of being confident in an organization before donating. Thanks for pointing it out.

Arrow17 · 46-50, F

@trackman11 I have seen a lot of charity organisations dont help people with donation instead using money to make them rich such as buying personal cars and houses. I hate those type of people.

I knew a pastor used charity money to buy a huge house for his mistress who has given birth to two children. That pastor has a wife and children in another country. I see many greedy and dishonest people use charity money for private business.

greenmountaingal · 80-89, F

@Arrow17 I don't give money to charities I have not checked out.