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Nothing but rude stupid callers today

But I'm not gonna let it ruin my day. I had an amazing start to this day, gonna keep that energy and guard it with my life. 🥰
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HumanEarth · F
Picture me calling you right now

(Im calling you in character): Hi, yes, hello. I’m calling because I’m having a very serious issue with my… friend. Yeah. She’s having a bad day, and I’d like to speak to the manager of her emotions, please?

(Pause for her reaction/confusion)

No, no, don’t put me on hold. I’ve been listening to your hold music for 45 minutes in my head already. It’s that smooth jazz that sounds like an elevator falling. I’d like to file a complaint. The service I received today was unacceptable. I asked for "one good vibe," and I was told ‘system error.

(Picturing me making keyboard noises with my mouth)

Let me check my account… Yep. Here it says: "Customer is amazing, hair looks great today, and definitely deserves a raise." Wait, why is your screen flashing red? Oh, I see. It says ‘Agent needs a laugh immediately.’ Is that a critical error?

(Pause)

Okay, I’m going to try the troubleshooting steps. Step 1: Take a deep breath. (I take an exaggerated loud breath). Step 2: Realize that whoever yelled at you today probably eats cereal with a fork. Step 3: Accept this virtual high five.(Make a loud high-five sound effect: 'CHHHH!')

(I drop mu character and instantly, back to my normal warm voice)

Seriously though, I know today sucked. You’re amazing at what you do, even when people are nonsense. I just wanted to be the one call today that didn’t make you roll your eyes. You got this. Love you!
Just remember, no matter who takes the call, they are going to be the same way.

I dealt with passports for 10 years and didn’t take it personal, just gave them the answer and didn’t let them ruin my day.
Thevy29 · 41-45, M
I just answer the phone:

"Taxidermist, you snuff em, we stuff em."
Or
"Sherwood forest, Robin Hood speaking."
or
"You have reached the Jehovah Witness helpline, Someone will be with you shortly"

That got rid of them.
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