I Am Quiet During Social Situations

Feels like i never really connect with anyone unless they take the time out to talk to me first IRL, its frustrating but it's how I am.
Sometimes i think maybe i'll never be able to be like other people unless i'm on SSRI's, or maybe there's spmething wrong with me.
First thought is always "kill yourself", though i don't listen to it i sometimes feel like it's the eventuality i'm going to come to, and i hate that..
just feel isolated, needed to vent/pretend someone cares i guess

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MarkPaul · 26-30, M

I'm quiet, shy, and I have traces of social anxiety so that's a lot of pressure that keeps me solitary even though I don't always want to be solitary... although I do actually need a certain amount of time alone. I'm literally dependent on people who somehow take a liking to me, I guess... or feel sorry for me to make the effort to engage with me and then I feel like I'm a burden to them.

Every once in awhile, I think I am making progress, but then I fall back into thinking I'm just deluding myself. I can offer my recognition of your situation, for what it's worth.

Gh0s1

@MarkPaul Pretty much summed me up there, had to force myself out yesterday.
It really is all a state of mind that prevents us from being that person who is sociable, but if you're a quiet person i suppose you don't talk unless you have something you find worth saying. It's more burdensome to ourselves than to others really, it gives off the vibe you don't wanna talk i think, which is furthest from the truth.
I'm sure we'll get there eventually.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@Gh0s1 Yeah exactly. I notice how effortless it is for other people to engage with others and I catch myself getting jealous. And, that always turns into a downward spiral. I'm not sure there is any good solution. I don't even know what caused me to be this way. I hate it though.

Gh0s1

@MarkPaul On SSRI's i'm a social butterfly so to speak, but i didn't want to live my life medicated. I have high functioning depression so that explains mine, a lot of people do.
It all starts in the mind.
I felt the same last night with my friend who can do that, not so much jealous but it just made me feel like something unfixable was wrong with me and felt pretty alone. I spoke to some people who spoke to me well, but i felt like they were people who understood how i felt/could tell i was having a bit of a difficulty.

Holla34 · 22-25, T

I’m the same way that’s why I always say I’m a socially awkward turtle

Gh0s1

@Holla34 haha i like that. I guess i wouldn't mind except for times like these where i feel isolated/disconnected, it gets a bit burdensome/lonely at points. Wish i knew people like ourselves in real life to connect with, but we're all here unfortunately. Just gets me down sometimes..

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