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I hate this

I hate my life i want to end it all.. I have no one irl to comfort and talk to me, They would just think of it a burden and i feel like most of the students and staffs don't really like me..I really wanted to be friends with one of the girls but even though we are connected in Socials..We don't talk to each other at all unless i talk first.. I just know when someone doesn't like me and i know that too well.. Nothing in my life is going good not even once i can't even control might say.. I am in Middle School right now..I wanted to ask my mom abt going to ask for proffessional help..But she just gets mad at me.. All of my homeworks and stuffs is piling i can't even habe time to think about making friends..My comments about stuff like my choice of clothing etc..When i say i'm already a Teenager, I can dress myself. She says yea You're already a Teenager but you 'can't dress yourself correctly' When i want to buy something she's like Arghhh So Annoying, I have no choice if i don't agree with her bcs she's like well fine go then you can get out of the house and sht like that.. And she won't let me stay in the office and udnerstand me even though it's smokin hot outside and i'm burning..And When she drives me at home late..Because she has a job We have The Same School btw..I asked her many times for my father or her to drive me there to my house to do my assignments but she's like Don't disturb your Father!! You know he's tired!! Like one of the few days he actually goes back He sleeps all the time thats why he's not answering..And it also doesn't help I have a lot of assignments and stuffs to do But she doesn't get it..I don't ahve enough time to finish..And she wonders and gets mad at me For Having Bad Grades!! Like She doesn't even teach me herself?? Even though the School and the subject i am studying is more different and it's also 1 year advance.. Arghh Like she doesn't understand she's so insensitive..And bcs there's literally so many taxis and many other commuye rides out there but she still insists on My Father picking us up when he doesn't even answer.. And i'm literally waiting for more than 30 Miniyes and she jist said My Father actually didnt see it..LIKE WYFFF..If you want to live and stay at school Stay There..I don't want to,, She lets me go and do stuffs and places where i don't want to..And i Feel like i'm even having a panick attack sometimes..Like bcs she wants to 'save money' Now i'm stuck in this old ass up stuff up waiting for how long..And it turns into night already while also raining and the Insects are so annoying..And it's also rlly hot like i'm sweatinga Lott..LiKE I'M SO MAD she doesn'& understand..she won't let me live my life..I HATE MY LIFE SO MUCH
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Absurd · 16-17, M
dont try to force to make friends, because i feel the same haha. the more your force it the more you are likely will not be able to get it. want to end my life to since i have nothing to lose and i have nothing but myself or i should say i dont even know who am i too. im paradoxical, i have those people around me that cares but i push them away haha because i believe that they are only there only temporary and in the end yourself is the only one you have so yeah