People telling me I shouldn’t want to die makes me want to die more 😆

A few people here understand that it’s my choice and respect that. That feels really good.

But people telling me I SHOULD or SHOULDNT feel or do or say what’s in my heart hurts deeply. They sound like my family putting me down for being sensitive and wanting to live how I choose. It’s so ingrained in humans to fear pain, sadness and death, but I’ve seen it so often, it doesn’t frighten me at all. There’s so much I can’t change and I accept that. I would never tell someone how to live or die, not after the colorful, intricate life I’ve lived. It’s all beautiful. I consider myself fortunate as always to have a choice. And living with the knowledge that I do will make however long the rest of my life is bearable despite the pain. It’s all love.

I watched both my parents die, and very near the end, I just closed my eyes and begged the universe to take them and end the pain. Gasping for breath, confused and sad, I was relieved when it was over for them, not me. I wanted what was best for them even if it hurt me. Love 🖤

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TinyViolins · 31-35, M

Much like poker, sometimes you gotta know when to fold em. I don't ever try to coerce people to stay alive against their will, because lord knows I'm only hanging on for the sake of my dogs. The only thing I want people in this position to feel is peace, even if it means peace with their decision to end it all.

Too often, pain or anger makes people desperate and they end up going down this path from their own internalized sense of helplessness. They truly believe that nothing can be done and they will never find what they're seeking, but more often than not these absolutes are just a coping mechanism of the brain. It uses rationalization to handle the overwhelming pain they feel. They create hopelessness to find a reason for ending this pain.

I don't like seeing people make decisions like this when they're upset because, in my experience, it's mostly a means of coping with their troubles. That's why, instead of telling people what they should or shouldn't do, I ask them if they've done all they possibly could to address this pain. I ask if there is anything out there that would make them happy and give their life meaning. I ask how possible it is for them to find something to strive for. Or to find people who will make their time on earth worthwhile.

If they really believe that there's no hope or solace to be found, then I understand fully why they no longer wish to suffer any more than they have. I let them know it's okay to do what they think is best for them and that I hope they find the comfort they're looking for. Not everybody gets a happy ending. Sometimes people have to settle for the next best thing.