I am always fascinated how the "do-gooders" (and those who need to convince themselves they are do-gooders) come out with their easy steps to correct the "problem" as they self-congratulate themselves for doling out their advice. They say things like, "smile more," "have the right attitude," "join something," "be positive," "just wait for one day to arrive." Why not tell someone who doesn't speak their language to just use the "right" phrases and smile more. If you don't know the language, that advice is not only useless, it's insensitive.
For those of us who are loners, whether we are happy with our condition or we want to change it, we don't have the skills to just stop being lonely anymore. That's not to say we can't develop the skills (over time). But, "have the right attitude" and "go join something" tells us nothing other than the person giving that empty advice must be a moron. If I could "just join something" and meet people that way, I most likely would not be a loner. Just joining something is not something someone who is a loner is able to "just" do. And, the fact that is not clear, is mind-boggling.
When I see this kind of advice given in that "do-gooder" spirit from self-congratulating do-gooders, I end up wondering if maybe I am better off being a loner than interacting with idiots who have no idea what they are talking about.
