Feeling different

I've always felt different from my family because of the advanced vocabulary I had as a child. Reading the encyclopedia at age 8 for fun. I want to study and read so much on both anthropology and philosophy. I feel like I have to dumb myself down just to feel normal. I read and wrote at a 9th grade level in 7th grade. I try to hide how smart I am by using more simple speech even tho I know smart words that most don't know the meaning of or how to speak with them. I wish I was able to fully be my true self and not hiding my 125 IQ

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Gusman · 61-69, M

I understand how you feel.
I too went through a stage of having to dumb down my vocabulary as many people thought I was trying to show superiority over them.
I am no intellect, I just enjoyed reading dictionaries and doing crossword puzzles. So there are many words in my head.
I eventually decided not to simplify my vocab.
Just yesterday a person thanked me because they learned a new word which I had used. Perambulation

dianekrivera5525 · 36-40, FNew

@Gusman I hated it I felt ashamed and embarrassed and when I would be around my family and they didn't fully understand me because I spoke with big words was the worst I had to translate what I was saying and I tried to limit when I would use certain vocabulary. I still do that

Gusman · 61-69, M

@dianekrivera5525 No good would come of continuing to use your usual vocabulary around family if said family would react negatively with you.
Best to keep it simplified and have a less stressful relationship with them.

dianekrivera5525 · 36-40, FNew

@Gusman very true which is what I do now but I don't have many people whom I can have Intelligent conversations with as well as conversations that are mentally stimulating for me. Oftentimes people think in such simple and primitive ways that I feel bad for them

Gusman · 61-69, M

@dianekrivera5525 Maybe you can take a night course about advanced vocabulary or speech writing.
This might bring you into contact with like minded people which may progress to friendship etc.

dianekrivera5525 · 36-40, FNew

@Gusman there is just a massive plathora of things I can spend all day studying I've been studying a lot on human evolution and the various hominid species such as the austropirhicus genius that existed around 6-7 million years ago and other hominids that existed before them while our primitive ape ancestors still lived in trees

dianekrivera5525 · 36-40, FNew

@Gusman true I'm looking into joining a philosophy club too

Gusman · 61-69, M

@dianekrivera5525 That is a great idea. Being around like minded people, those wanting to learn, is a good way to make friendships. I hope it works out for you

dianekrivera5525 · 36-40, FNew

@Gusman me too because I don't like a ring dumb just to fit in

dianekrivera5525 · 36-40, FNew

@Gusman I'm thinking about writing an philosophical thesis on a topic I call knowledge as its pertaining to the opinions of familia philosophers Socrates, and Descartes