Anxious
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So I decided to play a game

No, no. Not that kind of game.

It is a mal-functioning social interaction game called energy and effort mirroring.

In fact maybe it’s just learning to be neurotypical and use my mirror neurons.

Thing is it’s blooding lonely.

Because there is no energy or effort coming my way.

But you know, i was just tired of giving more than I got.

Of rooting for everyone else.

Of seeing the good in people.

Believing in people.

I was kind and hopeful.

But exhausted.

And now?

I’m bitter and disillusioned
And still exhausted.

But I’m stuck in the game.

Be what you want in the world didn’t work for me.

But neither does this.

What’s in the in between?
StraightLacedLADY · 41-45, F
Find your capacity, what it takes to fill that capacity, and accept the rest for what it is.
Don't do yourself a disservice but allowing others to change who you are, and probably shouldn't expect reciprocation and moderate your energy and efforts accordingly.
MayaHope · 41-45, F
@StraightLacedLADY I’ll keep trying 😊
StraightLacedLADY · 41-45, F
@MayaHope whats the saying? You only fail when you dont get back up. Life knocks us all down and sometimes we gotta lie there and catch our breathe but always get back up and keep trying.
MayaHope · 41-45, F
@StraightLacedLADY I’m definitely having a lie down 😂
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
I call it void. And for the reason it's neither good nor bad. An emptiness. A wanting. Something that is not fulfilled.

I those times i sometimes write. It could be anything. Just something to express myself.

In the case of my last post few actually liked. Even when I thought there might be a possibility. Yet I never really expect much with any post on here. It's only posted for myself.

https://similarworlds.com/music/way-music-makes-me-feel/4601474-Music-ELP-Cest-la-vie-With-editional-verses


The additional verses were for no one in particular. Yet they do express my feelings.

It was for "C'est la vie" (personal address). Let the wind answer if it wants to! 🤷🏻‍♂️

 
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