Immature people

Why is it that if someone is even the slightest bit offended by a question you ask them they block you? Would they do this in IRL or would they tell you that they are offended by it and give you the opportunity to apologize. Afterwards you may mutually agree to either stay in touch or not, but at least you do so as grown ups. I just don't understand the lack of maturity on this and every other internet site.

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Magenta · F

I don't get it either, that emotional immaturity of grown adults. Makes me think it stems from fragility of character and no conviction in themselves aka low self esteem/insecurity..? Plus perception is a [i]very[/i] tricky thing on social media.

Disclaimer: Not saying I'm even remotely perfect. Merely giving my view point, trying to understand.

ArishMell · 70-79, M

@Magenta @PunkRockSuperStar

Although we can't make sweeping generalisations and motives are individual, I think you are both right although of course bullying by fragile, insecure individuals has always been around. The Internet just makes it easier for them .

The BBC's specialist reporter on this matter, Marianna Spring, recently highlighted another aspect, that many "trolls" and on-line bullies seem unable to appreciate their victims are real people with real feelings.

On did apologise for attacking her on the Internet, saying he'd not realised that she is a real person. His admission does seem very odd, but she did understand it: "social"[?] media" and are very impersonal, usually disguised (by nick-names, as on here) and remote.

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Even when with the best intentions, even ordinary e-posts messages can be misinterpreted or seem rather cold.

For example, one couple among my long-time friends now sends not real Christmas cards but ghastly electronic messages clarted in twee digital pictures, that basically make these normal annual social interactions into impersonal friendships-by-database. They are not free, if the idea is to avoid card and postage costs, as the sender still needs pay for the service; but this couple are among the wealthiest of my friends, and the RLNI* no longer receives the income from the real cards they used to buy from its shop.

I pointedly still send real cards, and ones supporting the charity.

.......

*Royal National Lifeboat Institution, celebrating its 200th Anniversary this year: the volunteer-crewed maritime rescue and beach-lifeguards organisation around the British Isles. It relies entirely on donations, bequests, fund-raising events and gift-shops.

PunkRockSuperStar · 56-60, M

@ArishMell I very much agree with this. Christmas is my least-favourite time of year, but the one thing that brightens the occasion for me is receiving cards with personal, hand-written messages. I will always be happy to give and receive them. I'd rather receive nothing at all than an impersonal, intangible, instantly-forgotten e-card.

Magenta · F

@ArishMell Oh, nearly everyone thinks they are being bullied now and nearly everyone is a victim. *yawn*

[quote]Even when with the best intentions, even ordinary e-posts messages can be misinterpreted or seem rather cold.[/quote] Indeed. It's not a natural way to communicate and it causes many issues between people.

Of course I realize there is legitimate bullying, but I don't think what most on social media call it.

ArishMell · 70-79, M

@Magenta Yes: a good point.