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Immature people

Why is it that if someone is even the slightest bit offended by a question you ask them they block you? Would they do this in IRL or would they tell you that they are offended by it and give you the opportunity to apologize. Afterwards you may mutually agree to either stay in touch or not, but at least you do so as grown ups. I just don't understand the lack of maturity on this and every other internet site.

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SW-User

Why do you see it as immature? In the real world there is a need to be tolerant of people as you have to exist in the same space. The internet allows us to filter people out so we only come across those we want to. Some people want to be on a site with a range of people, opinions and beliefs, others simply want to spend time with people like them and so block anyone outside of that. It’s not immature it’s simply choosing how you want to use this site and who you want to be around. I used to get into arguments on here and it would upset me u til someone said to me, why have those people as part of your experience? You can choose to only have fun and simply only allow yourself to see people who are also just here for fun. It made me see the block button in a whole new way. You can’t be offended if people block, it’s simply there way of controlling their experience of the site, it’s not a reflection on you

JimboSaturn · 51-55, M

@SW-User A valid different point of view. I see both sides.

Iknowyourouttheresomewhere · M

@SW-User
🫡

sunriselover · M

@SW-User Yes, I steer clear of religious sites. You will find no peace on the Spirituality forum either.

PunkRockSuperStar · 56-60, M

It's due to the unnatural nature of communication via social media and the internet, don't you think? It has caused people to think their own opinions are vastly more important than they really are, and that everyone must agree with them; also that they have some sort of right never to be offended. I believe it's been a huge cause of polarisation and social division ever since the advent of blogging sites and social media. In reality, nobody can hope to agree even with their closest friends else on every issue, yet the internet magnifies prejudices and differences of opinion to the extent that they obscure everything else about a person.

I say this as someone who often finds disagreements on particular issues difficult to ignore, but I am aware that it's the internet that's causing me to feel that way.

Magenta · F

@PunkRockSuperStar [quote] the [i]unnatural nature[/i] of communication via social media and the internet[/quote] So much truth to this. Could go into a rant about it, lol!
Actually many studies have proven the negative affects of too much social media, on our (emotional/mental) well being. I also think it can create paranoia.

PunkRockSuperStar · 56-60, M

@Magenta Thank you, Magenta. It's an issue I've thought about a lot, too. In real-life interaction, we might disagree with someone but unless we're a particularly obnoxious and aggressive type, we'll simply refuse to engage with them or keep our distance from them. Or we might befriend them but ignore the differences of opinion. These constraints don't apply on social media. And I think it's also become obvious that people are now so wrapped up in their mobile phones and social media that it's distorted their reality and they no longer know how to interact courteously with other people in real life. I think it's having all kinds of negative effects on the individual and society as a whole.

JimboSaturn · 51-55, M

@PunkRockSuperStar The internet is a huge world wide polarizing force I agree!

Magenta · F

I don't get it either, that emotional immaturity of grown adults. Makes me think it stems from fragility of character and no conviction in themselves aka low self esteem/insecurity..? Plus perception is a [i]very[/i] tricky thing on social media.

Disclaimer: Not saying I'm even remotely perfect. Merely giving my view point, trying to understand.

ArishMell · 70-79, M

@Magenta @PunkRockSuperStar

Although we can't make sweeping generalisations and motives are individual, I think you are both right although of course bullying by fragile, insecure individuals has always been around. The Internet just makes it easier for them .

The BBC's specialist reporter on this matter, Marianna Spring, recently highlighted another aspect, that many "trolls" and on-line bullies seem unable to appreciate their victims are real people with real feelings.

On did apologise for attacking her on the Internet, saying he'd not realised that she is a real person. His admission does seem very odd, but she did understand it: "social"[?] media" and are very impersonal, usually disguised (by nick-names, as on here) and remote.

=====
Even when with the best intentions, even ordinary e-posts messages can be misinterpreted or seem rather cold.

For example, one couple among my long-time friends now sends not real Christmas cards but ghastly electronic messages clarted in twee digital pictures, that basically make these normal annual social interactions into impersonal friendships-by-database. They are not free, if the idea is to avoid card and postage costs, as the sender still needs pay for the service; but this couple are among the wealthiest of my friends, and the RLNI* no longer receives the income from the real cards they used to buy from its shop.

I pointedly still send real cards, and ones supporting the charity.

.......

*Royal National Lifeboat Institution, celebrating its 200th Anniversary this year: the volunteer-crewed maritime rescue and beach-lifeguards organisation around the British Isles. It relies entirely on donations, bequests, fund-raising events and gift-shops.

PunkRockSuperStar · 56-60, M

@ArishMell I very much agree with this. Christmas is my least-favourite time of year, but the one thing that brightens the occasion for me is receiving cards with personal, hand-written messages. I will always be happy to give and receive them. I'd rather receive nothing at all than an impersonal, intangible, instantly-forgotten e-card.

Ghostinthemachine · M

Unfortunately, this intolerance or lack of ability to deal with others in a mature manner, is slowly transferring toward real life interactions. It’s like people have no clue how to interact with each other anymore.

AccursedAlexander3 · 31-35, M

I just don’t want to answer certain questions personally. For personal reasons. Sometimes I have friends that think I need to open up or share my feelings, which I do, but sometimes it can get to be a bit much. Pestered or annoyed or something else into talking about something I don’t want to talk about. I had a friend who asked me for an entire class to tell her what was up, and another who won’t let me go to sleep if I won’t tell them why I don’t want to talk to them right tf now. Sometimes people can be too much. But I agree with you for the most part.

sandymom96 · 36-40, F

@AccursedAlexander3 And that is fine. Just say that. I wouldn't even be upset if you blocked me AFTER you gave me the opportunity to apologize. I think I'm more upset of not being given the opportunity to apologize than anything else. Anyone who knows me can confirm that it is never my intention to offend anyone.

sunriselover · M

Yes, I know there is a very nasty post about me, that I’m blocked from seeing.

It tells me a lot about the person who wrote it though.

I move on and have better things to do with my life.

Strictmichael75 · 61-69, M

Unfortunately some people block you because you don’t answer immediately.
A TOTAL lack of respect!

PunkRockSuperStar · 56-60, M

@Strictmichael75 That appears to be the case. Do they think people have nothing else to do with themselves all day but reply to messages the second they receive them? Another unfortunate symptom of the modern world, I reckon.

DHggmu · 31-35, M

Maybe they enjoy the power of being able to do something they can’t ever do in their real life. I don’t think I’ve ever blocked anyone, not had a reason to.

ArishMell · 70-79, M

@DHggmu I am sure at least some do - and I do wonder if at least some of those are indeed bullies in real life too.

DHggmu · 31-35, M

@ArishMell I highly doubt it. People who abuse the small amount of power they gain from being online do so because they could never do so in a real life scenario. That’s why internet bullying/hate is so popular with these people, they’re weak, sorry excuse for humans.

eventtemple123 · 22-25, M

They just love being in their little bubble of people who are exactly like them in every single way because anyone who's different is gross. I can't stand people like that either.

Richard65 · M

Insecurity. They're usually worried that they'll be out of their depth and embarrassed in some way by further questions. You dodged a bullet.

ninalanyon · 61-69, T

Sometimes people send me a nasty reply in a post and then block me before I have a chance to read it!

DarkHeaven ·

Oh my goodness I wish I could block in real life. That’s like literally my dream.

Iknowyourouttheresomewhere · M

I think it comes down to respect and lack of knowledge 😊

Torpedocat99 · 46-50, MVIP

Completely agree with this frustration.

swirlie · 31-35, F

I think to randomly block someone for no apparent reason is a generational thing for some people to do. People from older generations tend to be more tolerant of everyone around them, meaning they wouldn't typically block someone because they only associate with people who look like them.

Anyone born in the last 20 years however, are cut from a different cloth than the rest of us insofar as their social tolerances go. I have found that people who were born with a silver cellphone in their mouth who would always have their face planted in a cellphone screen during all waking hours, tend to be exceptionally socially inept in their real world outside the internet. This is because they don't know how to interact with human life in the real world because their real world only exists on the internet, not outside in real society.

Blocking people for no apparent reason on a site like SW becomes a way of coping with people when placed in unfamiliar territory of group socialization.

Lilnonames · F

I block in real life as well

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sunriselover · M

@Lilnonames Surely you don’t do this at work.

Lilnonames · F

@sunriselover i blocked my boss

sunriselover · M

@Lilnonames My job relied on everyone working as a team.

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