Fellas, you need to back me up on this.

I’m talking to a woman on a dating site, and she says that men are complicated.
Really?
Feed us
Water us
And on occasion, throw us a little somethin’ somethin’.
That’s it. How complicated is that?

Chris: Jim, what do you want for dinner?
Jim: Hamburgers.
Chris: No, seriously.
Jim: Tacos.
Chris: No, seriously.
Jim: Pizza?
Chris: What about spaghetti?
Jim: Yes, that was going to be my fourth guess.

Chris: Jim, do these jeans make my butt look big?
Jim: No, not at all.
Chris: Be honest.
Jim: I am being honest.
Chris: Tell me the truth.
Jim: Well, maybe a little bit.
Chris: You rotten bastard.

Chris: Jim, my work friends want to know if you want to go dancing with us on Friday.
Jim: Cool beans.
Chris: So does that mean you want to go?
Jim: Yes, of course.
Chris: Be honest.
Jim: I’d rather stay home.
Chris: You rotten bastard.

Chris: Jim, where do you want to go on vacation?
Jim: It’s up to you baby.
Chris: No, seriously.
Jim: Anywhere is fine.
Chris: You have to help me decide.
Jim: Can we go camping?
Chris: No, seriously.
Jim: Crikey, can you at least give me a clue?

Chris: Jim, should I get the red dress or the blue one?
Jim: Up to you.
Chris: But I want your opinion.
Jim: I really like the blue one.
Chris: So you’re saying I look ugly in red?

Yeah, us guys are so very complicated.

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Roadsterrider · 56-60, M

I have been married for 32 years, my experience has taught me a few things to lessen some of the questions.

When she asks what I want for dinner, my usual answer is, "I would like sirloin tips with sauteed mushrooms, onions and gravy and I would like steamed broccoli with cheese sauce and a twice baked potato loaded.

Her response, "You are getting hamburger."

When she asks if I want to go out with her and her friends. I usually say something like: "I would rather have you stick a rusty nail in my ear till the gray stuff starts leaking out."

Her response, "Well, you going to go to dinner with us, you can follow me there on your motorcycle and leave when you want."

When she asks if a dress makes her butt look fat, I say, "No, it is sitting on the couch all day and eating junk food all day every day that makes your butt look fat." That is usually the end of questions for a while. The current record is 6 weeks.

Men have three states of mind. Hungry, happy and horny. And only two are important to address, If we aren't hungry or horny, we are automatically happy.

JimBeam · M

@Roadsterrider

And thirsty.

Roadsterrider · 56-60, M

@JimBeam Yeah, but thirsty doesn't trump hungry, happy or horny for me.

dakotaviper · 56-60, M

I was once asked about the food thing and my reply was 'I'd rather you sit on my face so I can eat you out". Her reply was that she wasn't even expecting that answer.

cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

I think you egg it on.

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Adrift · 61-69, F

@JimBeam Hint, she likes them both.

cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

@JimBeam If she is constantly asking for advice on things maybe she lacks self-confidence. I don’t remember asking a man which clothing item I should buy. Now if I am shopping with a woman friend at a little shop I will hold up a piece of clothing and ask “what do you think?” But in the end the decision is mine.

JimBeam · M

@Adrift

Then she should be honest about it.

dakotaviper · 56-60, M

Men under 35 here in the US Today are very complicated. The majority of those under 35 prefer video games over anything else.

TheOneyouwerewarnedabout · 46-50, MVIP

Sharks are simple creatures..
they swim, they eat, and they make baby sharks. That’s all they do.
- Matt Hooper

JimBeam · M

@TheOneyouwerewarnedabout

Yes they are.

SatanBurger · 36-40, FVIP

You say that but humans are much more complicated than that.

JimBeam · M

@SatanBurger

If you say so.

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