I have gotten myself steady-ish. I feel my heart thumping heavily still. I can hold off the dizziness a bit and even cool the nausea a little.
Watching a neighbor get taken in an ambulance. I probably need one.
I have to get out of this place. It's chaos, confusion and death.
I'm more of an expert at death than I am anxiety. It's all got to stop. I need to get out of here but I need a break.
I have stressful nightmare sleeps. I clench my jaw and wake with sore teeth. It's gotten worse since I started working again.
I used to be SO chill. But something has changed and I don't like it. I don't want it. It's not me.
I'm set up for therapy again in two weeks. I've promised myself I won't get disappointed. I will be upfront about feeling put off by woo woo hacks. I'm too deeply effed up for gratitude. The dichotomy is ripping me apart. I'm so grateful, I have it decent, why am I in so much pain?
