I used to wish my parents would acknowledge their wrongs & maybe even apologize for the past

I quit hoping for that years ago. Most parents never apologize & will never own up to the damage they caused you. They'd rather push it all away like it didn't exist. Carry on like it never happened. & If we try talking about it, we get told shit like "it wasn't like that", "things were different back then", or "that never happened"

They don't acknowledge what they did they just invalidate our feelings & make us feel like we're the broken ones.

I think a lot if it does come from self guilt. Sure, there's probably many who truly believe they did nothing wrong. But I'd bet most of them know the truth, yet they push it aside. Thinking that if we all pretend it doesn't matter, we don't have to think about it, so it's all fine.

It's not fine though. If you're the adult in the situation, don't make excuses for your bullshit. Own up to your goddamn mistakes because your kids will carry that with them forever. No matter how much you think you can forget.

I grew up angry. I fought a lot. I spent so much energy fighting everyone & everything & I'm tired. I'm not even angry anymore. I got over that. But that doesn't mean the hurt is gone. Anger was only a byproduct of being hurt... but the hurt is forever there.

I simply learned that pointing fingers doesn't solve shit.
All I can do is figure out the root of my own traumas & take accountability for my own actions to heal on my own. We can't take accountability for anyone else, they gotta take that for themselves.

Whether they ever do or not, f*ck it. Heal YOU.