Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Am Afraid of Rejection

I hate to admit it, but I think one thing fueling my emptiness is that I feared rejection and let that fear rule me. Like a comedian alone on stage who is bombing, I treat each interaction I have with life-and-death precision. And, when I don't make the connection with the other person (which is often), the rejection occupies my mind for days. When it finally leaves me, it leaves behind the sadness it was feeding off of so that I feel deficient and hopeless.

One thing I am starting to come to terms with though is, I can survive rejection. Like that comedian I left on stage, it actually can make me less vulnerable (over time) if I use it as an experience to move on from.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
I agree Jose... in fact, I am coming to believe it may not be possible. The thing is, it seems like it COULD be possible that if the timing is right with the right attitude and sense of openness, then maybe something like a soulmate COULD happen. So far, it has not EVER happened for me, so I doubt I even know what I am talking about though. I could just be fooling myself. But, Casper does seem to hit on something... maybe it's mostly a matter of not taking it so seriously.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
Yeah Jose... we have to just keep moving on. I'm no one to talk because I am way behind you in relationships... but we just have to keep trying. I mean we might as well. Like Casper advised, rejection doesn't have to hurt as much as we let it. Hang in there man. I know all about low self-esteem. For what's its worth - and I know this is the Internet - but, based on what you have written, I look up to you.
j0s3c4rlo5 · 41-45, M
Because I was stupid enough to give my love to one person thousands miles away from me, and at the end she said she didn't feel the same about me, Not to mention other sad story and anyway.... I'm too tired and too depressed to fall in love for some one again, I feel completely powerless, disposable my self steam is below zero..... But life must go on =\
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
Thanks... it's something I have been thinking a lot about lately. I don't know... maybe we are just over-sensitive, but it does really hurt. For me, my normal routine is to deny it hurts (you know... male ego), but repressing all those feelings is really not doing me any good.
Dude, one thing i learn about rejection is that you cant expect a person to say yes on going out, is better to know them at first, show them to have a good time. You gotta be positive, im not afraid of being rejected, cause i take my time, if it work cool, if not, plenty fish in the sea.
Btw i will say this, if i ask any girl i will get rejected, no doubt about it, it about time and space. (Learn that the hard way) but you gotta remember one thing, never let a girl grab the check and always be a gentleman.
Most importantly, BE YOURSELF.
j0s3c4rlo5 · 41-45, M
@EnigmaticCasper actually I agree with you, you need to be positive, you need to be yourself and I strongly encouragea @MarkPaul to not give up, you're still young and full of chances, be always resilient. the time always come believe me. For me I'm done
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
But it seems, learning how to manage rejection without getting crushed by it is part of the experience. Trying to avoid rejection could become a life-long pursuit that in the end is not worth it.
Dont thank me, thank yourself for pushing out of those negative thought. You control your life, im just a guy just trying his best on giving advice.
Jose, i was in the same shoes as you, but you gotta move on, dont clinge on that past, i know you will find a lucky gal. At least take a moment of yourself.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
Well, I hope you are right. I am trying to stay positive no matter what. I don't have your confidence, but I trust you.
lmiller7 · 26-30, F
Exactly,excellent advice EnigmaticCasper.
Life is about you,let go of the negative.Whatever you put your mind to, you can do and get.
Darci ·
It gets better Paul you just have to get as many distractions as you can, accept it and move on.
That would love to see a life with that person, but you have to take time, never rush it.
j0s3c4rlo5 · 41-45, M
@EnigmaticCasper So I am in the right way, already doing this thanks Casper =)
Well i had some tips from couples that are my friends. So hope it help.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
That's good advice Casper. And, good words to live by.
SW-User
Surround yourself with those you believe will not reject you....
kingofthenorth87 · 36-40, M
The curse of every man - "being worthless until proven otherwise".

The pain of rejection, is a demon within, a powerful demon... Defeating him is necessary, to achieve freedom, true freedom... It's gonna be an epic fight, with pain tears and frustration. But all the more glory to the ones strong enough to defeat him.
By not thinking about it, just tell yourself that its a friendly hangout. And one thing my friends keep telling me, Focus on yourself, someone will realise that you are working for the better. It better you notice yourself before some else tell you to.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
Yeah Casper... that makes sense, but how do I just let the fear go... I try to be positive and I don't want to sound like a cry-baby, but... well... I mean... it hurts and how many times can I keep rationalizing... "well, there are plenty of fish in the sea?"
j0s3c4rlo5 · 41-45, M
yes.... rejection and anxiety an explosive mixture, sorry guys I'm really optimist but sometimes my optimism is based on the action of others.

My problem is that I have too much empathy in this selfish world.
SW-User
I understand...but in some cases including mine, handling rejection is a lot harder...But if you think you are able to learn how to handle rejection then best of luck to you and I will support you and hope for the best. 😇
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
Well, so far I don't handle it well at all. I carry it with me as though it's a bowling ball chained to my ankle. But, I'm just saying... I want to learn how to handle it. And, with your support (especially) hope can turn into results.
You are just giving up, you giving reason for yourself that you cant do it. Just STOP giving reason, and just DO IT. Do it for the right reason, not excuses.
j0s3c4rlo5 · 41-45, M
I am afraid of the term "plenty of fish in the sea" because is still really rare to find a soulmate
SW-User
If it can get better for me, and it has; then it can get better for you as well.
j0s3c4rlo5 · 41-45, M
and what is the right reason?
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
Why are you giving up Jose?
lmiller7 · 26-30, F
If,you ever wont to chat,message me.
JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F
You said this so perfectly...much better than I. I understand this well.

 
Post Comment