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How would you describe your personality?

For some of you I've interacted with, I have my own idea or assessment of what it's like, but I'd like to know how you would describe it.
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Extremely reserved. Polite till I lose patience with someone, and then they might as well be talking to a rock for all I’ll ever say or react to them again.
Standoffish, closed off even with loved ones.
I love to laugh, but I rarely laugh with abandon with anyone else.
Not loving or lovable. Never have been.
I’m mostly unhesitating, responsible, accepting, shrewd but dim-witted (unashamed of it), and a loner.
Attempts to be playful or fun didn’t work out. I’m meant to be the serious one.