Is it wrong to look at another person

I have a partner that I would never hurt so I have a question. There is a guy works in the produce section of a local grocery store. I go in there when I know he is in and purchase fruit items. I always look at him and speak to him. He is very attractive, neat, clean looking and about my age. I have known my partner for going on 6 years been living together for about half that time, and would never do anything to hurt him. The produce guy is the first person I have ever looked at as someone I would like to be with. I have never said a word to my partner about him and have no intention of doing so. Is it wrong for me to feel this way?

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Ynotisay · M

I'm not sure there's anything inherently "wrong" with what we feel unless it ends up harming others. Not saying you're doing this but I do think if someone is "lusting' after some one else then that has the potential to impact your thoughts about your current partner. It's easy to compare. Particularly in a long-term relationship. Shiny, new things are exciting. But finding someone attractive is different than feeling like you'd want to be with the person, you know?

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Ynotisay · M

@Shannon27 It sounds like you appreciate what you have. And that's when the "real" happens. SO much more there than in anything you can find in passing. 👍

Shannon27 · M

@Ynotisay Thanks for the advice. I think right now I will go to my partner and discreetly let him know how much I like him.

Ynotisay · M

@Shannon27 I think that's a very kind and very loving move. Right on.

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

I’m married and had a secret crush on a guy way younger than me for about 6 good months if that gives you any perspective. Just cause you’re on a diet doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu. You’re committed, not dead.

Budwick · 70-79, M

Is it wrong for me to feel this way?

What I think doesn't matter.
What do YOU think?

Carissimi · F

You feel what you feel, so it’s not wrong in that sense. The problem is you are acting on those feelings by making a conscious choice to go buy fruit to see him. If your partner knew you were doing this, would they be hurt? You may not tell, but have a look at your relationship. Maybe, you are not happy in it.

ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

Looking is fine. I think it's natural for people to look. No matter how into me someone might be they will still look. I expect it.

Fluffybull · F

Finding someone attractive is one thing. Deliberately hanging out where you know they'll be.......🤔

jimjim1969 · M

No, we cannot help what or who we are attracted to.

hunkalove · 61-69, M

Yes, it is very wrong. Have fun!

SW-User

Well no unless you act on it

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