What my marriage counselor told me

Just before divorcing we both went to the same counselor but as individuals.
He asked me what attracted me to my spouse, I replied she's assertive and can make decisions.
Then he asked, how's that working? I replied, she does whatever she wants, whenever she wants with who ever she wants.
The counselor replied, usually the trait that attracts you to a person is the trait that drives you away from them.