The Big Clearance 1 : I went over my Instagram account

Been deleting old contacts over and over, old friends, older lovers, older collaborations, people with whom we've shared something somewhere but I feel I've outgrown.....
I've been doing this, decluttering my physical belongings for several years.
Today I followed just the same technique, from Marie's Kondo teachings (minimalist) feeling around every contact, with the only question " does it spark joy ? "
There were several occasions filled with guilt. Several contacts that I've been keeping because "what if this person who have supported me with this and that finds out I've unfollowed them ? "
Other occasions filled with pity " What if they get sad and lonely ? ", other were fear based .. " what if I need this contact for work related such and such " ...
Been deleting rare to find artists accounts that their art has stopped speaking to me.
Been unfollowing older peers from the fine arts academy or project mates.
Travelling short companions from whom I've learnt all that I had to learn at the exact moment of our physical meeting.
All this continuity and the following, is great, as long as it serves who we are.
Ah.
It's been exhausting but worth it.

All because of this video that I've watched that was emphasizing on the importance of LET GO in order to let what is a match to us, to find the space to come in. Uh.
I'm tired.

How about your Saturday's ?
It's a full moon you all do not forget...

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twistedrope · 26-30, M

If you send a message to see if you can spark a conversation and give it a week then delete them, that's a pretty good measure too.

I don't feel guilty for those people as they probably didn't value me in the first place. If I remove them, they can still contact me. Speaking up to say "Hey, stay in my life." is a pretty sweet thing to hear and invaluable to say.

being · 36-40, F

@twistedrope you're sending a beautiful message here but no, it's not this case.
It's old people whom I've outgrown. If the spark isn't there why try to reignite it?

You know, when we let them go, while we're not fully and deeply appreciating them .... We are doing them a favour. We release people so they can actually find what is a true match to them, and what is a good match, would actually feel good.
Do we think we're being supportive by trying to make others feel heard, while we don't actually want to listen to them ? People are able to feel into this, even if not aware, and that's deeply confusing.
I'm trying to be more in my truth.. and let go. Shedding my old skin.

twistedrope · 26-30, M

@being It was just a suggestion, there really is no good way to go about it. Change is always good and I encourage the removal of people who are no longer relevant or to your interest. Excess of people is burdensome and higher level jobs in companies are dedicated to maintaining what is essentially, an uncomfortable excess of people to have to care about their issues.

My approach is because I am ignorant of that persons position. I don't know whether they've been in medical care or no longer use that account. I don't know a lot of things. Making a small inquiry is nothing to be ashamed of or feel burdened about. I feel no reason to have to justify something so innocent and deserved as to what is essentially, a message of greeting.

I have no care beyond that otherwise I would be greatly overthinking the words "Hello. How you doin?" As is hard enough say in the first place. It is hard to say that. It is hard.

You will do fine whatever you do. You will be healthy, I think because you seem to care so much. That is a great thing.

being · 36-40, F

@twistedrope Care for what? You mean, to show fake care for people that I don't care about ? A subconscious message saying "I'm a good person so I'm caring about you" while my true being says "get out of my life now!" ??

I deleted around 50 people. Should I be going around sending awkward -the least- messages of "hi how u doing" to people with whom I clearly feel I don't want in my life?

Why should I do this ?

So others won't feel excluded ? While I am excluding them in reality ? Hiding my truth, confusing everyone, adding unnecessary pressure and fake feelings... enough with it. This is not true compassion, this is not true care and love, it's the lowest thing I don't want to be offering any longer. My pity.
No, I'll be respecting everyone enough to let them know where I truly stand.

twistedrope · 26-30, M

@being It's a fine way to go about it. Thanks.

being · 36-40, F

@twistedrope thank you too, for helping with the clearance..