How about both? Not watching it, but cybersex in the old days of adult chat rooms. I learned to be more demonstrative when receiving sex. (My wife said, "the reason I never liked performing oral before was because I didn't know whether I was doing it right or well because you weren't reacting".) Otoh, on one trip where we met one of my online cybermates who clearly didn't want to abide by my ground that nothing was going to happen in real life, my wife said "you do this again, and I'm going to divorce you and trust me, you can't afford a divorce". Since she held the checkbook, I believed her.
