I haven't had anal in a while, I know it will hurt , so I am avoiding it but the longer I wait the worst it gets

Anal sex does NOT have to be painful. There are small toys you can start with, working your way up to larger and larger sizes. Also, take the time to warm up and stretch yourself before sex until you are comfortable. Your anal sphincter is a muscle, treat it as such and you'll enjoy yourself. I mean unless pain is your thing, lol😉