The Most Common Cause Of Death In Each Of The 50 States
Alabama: Moonshine poisoning.
Alaska: Moose.
Arizona: Wyatt Earp.
Arkansas: Hillary Clinton.
California: Communism.
Colorado: Watching a Rockies game.
Connecticut: Lyme disease.
Delaware: Heart attack after Joe Biden sneaks up on you and sniffs your hair.
Florida: Tie between old age and alligator attack.
Georgia: Losing a fiddle battle with the Devil.
Hawaii: Paying $500,000 in rent for a hut. And then dying.
Idaho: Paying $500,000 in rent in Boise when you could have lived in Hawaii for the same amount. And then dying.
Illinois: Being a fan of the Chicago Bears, Cubs, or White Sox. Or else getting shot.
Indiana: Failing to say "Ope!" after you bump into someone (it kills them).
Iowa: Alcohol abuse. (This is not a joke. Get help, Iowa.)
Kansas: Being crushed by a house dropped on you by a tornado.
Kentucky: Deadly fight at the Waffle House.
Louisiana: Cursed by Voodoo Mambo.
Maine: Eaten by Pennywise.
Maryland: Eaten by crab.
Massachusetts: Wearing a Yankees cap.
Michigan: Shot by RoboCop.
Minnesota: Shot while attempting to tackle an ICE agent.
Mississippi: Accidentally ingesting unsweet tea.
Missouri: Being a Kansas City Royals fan.
Montana: Saying, "Hey man, hold my beer!" before attempting to mount a buffalo.
Nebraska: Starving while lost in a corn maze.
Nevada: Being sawn in half by Penn and Teller.
New Hampshire: Death from too much freedom.
New Jersey: Shot by Tony Soprano.
New Mexico: Shot by Walter White.
New York: Blown up by Muslim.
North Carolina: Getting caught up in the bloody conflict between Duke and UNC.
North Dakota: Trick question, no one lives in North Dakota.
Ohio: Cincinnati chili.
Oklahoma: Scalped by Comanches.
Oregon: Gluten allergy.
Pennsylvania: Run over by horse and buggy.
Rhode Island: [Make sure to google Rhode Island and come up with a joke before we publish. Do not publish until we have a good joke here. - Editor]
South Carolina: Rising up against the government to secede from the union. Happens every day.
South Dakota: Shot by Kristi Noem.
Tennessee: Bizarre cornhole incident.
Texas: Run over by a lifted truck, then shot by an AR-15, then eaten by mosquitoes.
Utah: Assassinated after you refused to join a pyramid scheme.
Vermont: Drowned in a vat of maple syrup.
Virginia: Killed during Civil War reenactment.
Washington: Eaten by vampires (the bad ones like the Volturi, James, Victoria, etc., not the "vegetarian" vampires like Edward).
West Virginia: Meth.
Wisconsin: Shot by Kyle Rittenhouse.
Wyoming: Blown off the highway by the winds and never seen again.
Alaska: Moose.
Arizona: Wyatt Earp.
Arkansas: Hillary Clinton.
California: Communism.
Colorado: Watching a Rockies game.
Connecticut: Lyme disease.
Delaware: Heart attack after Joe Biden sneaks up on you and sniffs your hair.
Florida: Tie between old age and alligator attack.
Georgia: Losing a fiddle battle with the Devil.
Hawaii: Paying $500,000 in rent for a hut. And then dying.
Idaho: Paying $500,000 in rent in Boise when you could have lived in Hawaii for the same amount. And then dying.
Illinois: Being a fan of the Chicago Bears, Cubs, or White Sox. Or else getting shot.
Indiana: Failing to say "Ope!" after you bump into someone (it kills them).
Iowa: Alcohol abuse. (This is not a joke. Get help, Iowa.)
Kansas: Being crushed by a house dropped on you by a tornado.
Kentucky: Deadly fight at the Waffle House.
Louisiana: Cursed by Voodoo Mambo.
Maine: Eaten by Pennywise.
Maryland: Eaten by crab.
Massachusetts: Wearing a Yankees cap.
Michigan: Shot by RoboCop.
Minnesota: Shot while attempting to tackle an ICE agent.
Mississippi: Accidentally ingesting unsweet tea.
Missouri: Being a Kansas City Royals fan.
Montana: Saying, "Hey man, hold my beer!" before attempting to mount a buffalo.
Nebraska: Starving while lost in a corn maze.
Nevada: Being sawn in half by Penn and Teller.
New Hampshire: Death from too much freedom.
New Jersey: Shot by Tony Soprano.
New Mexico: Shot by Walter White.
New York: Blown up by Muslim.
North Carolina: Getting caught up in the bloody conflict between Duke and UNC.
North Dakota: Trick question, no one lives in North Dakota.
Ohio: Cincinnati chili.
Oklahoma: Scalped by Comanches.
Oregon: Gluten allergy.
Pennsylvania: Run over by horse and buggy.
Rhode Island: [Make sure to google Rhode Island and come up with a joke before we publish. Do not publish until we have a good joke here. - Editor]
South Carolina: Rising up against the government to secede from the union. Happens every day.
South Dakota: Shot by Kristi Noem.
Tennessee: Bizarre cornhole incident.
Texas: Run over by a lifted truck, then shot by an AR-15, then eaten by mosquitoes.
Utah: Assassinated after you refused to join a pyramid scheme.
Vermont: Drowned in a vat of maple syrup.
Virginia: Killed during Civil War reenactment.
Washington: Eaten by vampires (the bad ones like the Volturi, James, Victoria, etc., not the "vegetarian" vampires like Edward).
West Virginia: Meth.
Wisconsin: Shot by Kyle Rittenhouse.
Wyoming: Blown off the highway by the winds and never seen again.
70-79, M
