BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale...

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100..

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of EncyclopaediaBritannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--BillyConnolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F

Years ago I had a light brown and white collie. He was a super dog and he broke out so often. On one occasion when he'd got out, I'd been walking around the areas I knew he liked and calling him. Some kids caught up with me at a play park and asked if I'd lost my dog. I turned around there was my super dog, in the centre of the play area, with an audience of little kids and their parents and he was having a wonderful time with a large white poodle.