Though I am Blessed

@HikingMan Screw your doom and gloom, Rob. It is tiresome.

@HikingMan Good bye? Why?

@HikingMan You have family. You have a brand new grandson and a sweet older one. All you can focus on is you. Selfish. Without them where would you be? Answer yourself THAT.

@SilkandLace2 I wish you better thoughts.

@HikingMan i wish you better thoughts also, and I'm not suicidal either just to say, but self realization can be such a burden....🤗🤗🤗🤗

@MoonlightLullaby thanks, it just simply is what it is, I'll soldier on, one foot in front of the other, all good here @HikingMan

@Nebula I thank you for that.
It's important to note that I am not suicidal.
I just know the things I know.

I appreciate your kindness.

@HikingMan certainly

@HikingMan Do you ever get tired from repeating the same things over and over ad nausem? I know you for what seems like a lifetime. I am sorry your life has been severe. I have had severe things happen to me too. I just do not repeat the same stuff like a broken record. You have people who love you and who depend upon you. Nothing wrong with that. Your doom and gloom world never changes. That is the world YOU choose. Reality. Truth. Good night.

I do grow tired of it all.
That's probably why I long for death at this point of my life ?
Even as I struggle to provide and uplift those so close to me...

I've tried to change it over and over again.
My thoughts..., My emotions... My realities....
I've sought to change them all...

Alas, the world strikes back and puts me in my place time and again.
The fact that you can't see it and hope for better doesn't change that.
The condemnation you cast as you dismiss my thoughts as "repetitive" or as "My Choice" is a thing I do not abide.

I am happy for you that the world has offered you chances to forget.
Offered you places to be that aren't so bad.
Offered you thoughts to think that do not overwhelm you.

But my world has been different !

Do you think I am here looking for sympathy..?
Just playing The Victim..?
Without reason or Recourse..?

Such a weird thing for someone to say that "feels" like they know me.

Perhaps it shouldn't be a "Goodnight" perhaps it should just be Goodbye...?

I'd hate for you to be subjected to such a "broken record" as I...

Goodbye, Cynthia.
I wish you well and a whole lot of happiness.

@HikingMan You have no clue as to what you have. I can choose to not listen to your broken record. You have no real idea how I think. You are selfish in your way. I can tell exactly what you are going to say because it is always the same tune. You say: I am tough. I should die. I cannot. Everyone depends on me. Life is a burden. Deep inside I am broken. Blah. Blah. Blah. Do as you wish. As you say, you do anyway. Go look at the new baby. Then the other child. Reflect on them. Geez.

I wish you much kinder thoughts than those that I endure.

I will not give up.
Nor should you !

Be well
Live happy
Die trying,
Rob

@HikingMan I think I will probably die sooner than later though.

I am not giving up, it just is what it is.