So I attempted to write something. It's kinda random. This is like a preliminary chapter.
Chapter 1 Global Devastation
I'm standing in the living room. My sisters birthday party is underway. I've always hated parties, not to mention it's weird that my family celebrates every birthday in the immediate family. My three older sisters, my mother and father, and three nephews and two nieces. Oh, and two brother in laws. I'm not going to bother with the grievances I have for some of them. I've rehashed them in my mind too many times, and I honestly don't care.
Everything's felt wrong lately, like a warning in the back of my mind. Daydreams and lucid dreams of disaster. Fucks sake I hope so, I'm sick and tired of being bored to death by life. Expectations, milling around aimlessly doing family favors out of boredom. People saying "oh, you have a good soul" heh, yeah right. I am constrained to be good, to nod along helplessly while stupid people derive satisfaction in this mediocre world. Where everything has been discovered, or hidden skillfully by the government. And saying I have a good soul is like saying I'm ugly. Well fuck you too butterface.
But as I'm standing here, brooding, and watching my favorite sister aquire the help of her daughter to open up presents. I get a sense of deja vu. Huh, my sister and her three kids sitting on or beneath the coffee stand, opening presents. The lighting outside indicating it's 4 o clock. ....
..There's a blinding flash of light..
The family looks south out the window. A mushroom cloud begins forming unsettlingly close in the distance. They huddle their loved ones close while I stand there like a goober and sigh "finally". A searing shockwave hits, a picture off the wall slams into my shoulder. I pass out.
...
Agggggghhhhhh! Fuck this hurts! It feels like the right side of my body is on fire! Someone put it out jaysus goddamn fuck it all! Am I blind? What the hell it feels like my eyes are welded shut! Oh wait something's wrong, I can't feel one of my eyelids. I try moving but it feels like my back in the middle is coming apart when I do, like I'm pulling apart stitches. Hang on, I'm not burning. No, this is like when I had serious sunburns on my shoulders one time, only deep in my muscles and particularly on one half of my body, like I've been split in two. Ha Giggity. No, focus....alright now I feel sick quick turn to the side!
Bleergeereerk. Ah that's better. I managed to squeeze my body around underneath some cabinets to puke. But dang it hurt even more to puke. I finally open my left eye to see the neon green result of my nausea sizzling and burning into the ground. Oh that's not good. I get up to push these cabinets off of me when I notice my burning right hand, is not burning, but looks like a stretched out muscle bone hand including my arm.
The fuck! why am I still alive? Is everyone else? I sit up to see my family as curled up blackened skeletons around the now open air living room. The roof completely blown off of the mostly destroyed brick house.
I look at their corpse skeletons and block my emotions. As I've always done before. Not in the mood for feeling despair at the moment. No matter how delicious it is to actually feel something. I decide to vacate the house for the moment. Crossing the burning trees of the front yard to bask in this now presumably dead world.
About what I expected, Down the hill from my house and beyond everything is burned. Or at the very least blackened. I hear screeching animals probably a few miles behind the house towards town. In their final death throes I expect. The barn at the bottom of the hill is collapsed. Including the barn to the side of the house. And GODDAMNIT will this pain across my body ever end?
I rummage around in the house for a shard of mirror. I also have discovered my right leg looks like a greenish draugr leg from one of my favorite videogames. After finding it I am slightly appalled yet interested.
"HAH! Cool, I look like two-face from Batman. Hmm, sort of", My right side looks like a ghoul, and my left, normal, if a little yellowish green. I feel a lurch in my chest when I look at my family "nope, none of that."
I don't see the point in burying them. That ritual is/was for the religious, and those without the capacity to revisit their memories. My family is gone, now just a gaggle of decomposing bones. I've never liked the idea of funeral homes and the like. I'd much rather remember them as they were anytime, than visit a marker in the ground to remember, so I leave.
I decide to walk towards the other family members residences in this country area. The result was similar, all gone. I catch the glimpse of quite a few more flashes of light in the distance during. Got blown back a bit from the late boomers. I decide just to roam around. Heading towards the city. I seem not to get hungry. Maybe being fed by radiation I suppose? Idk. The nuclear winter is gonna suck.
1 year later
So fuck black rain, and now, fuck winter. I have found nothing, NOTHING. At some point I found a partially intact library to read at, but most of the pages got dissolved in the open air building, and the cold froze the books. Anyways, im still wandering around. Legs breaking off from the cold and then reforming again. Seems like it's hard for me to die. Oh yes, I tried jumping off a cliff and drowning myself. Nope, radiation heals me. And no I will not stop walking. I will not be forced to live buried beneath refuse. So I walk.
10 years later
Yay! The nuclear winter is slowly ending! Sun seems brighter somehow. Yesh, my precious sun! Ah the frozen ocean is beee utiful! Ooh I'm sizzling with delight. Oh yes I'm sizzling in pain! How wonderful. Not that YOU can hurt me sun, pretty sure you are keeping meh alive using your delicious solar radiation.
100 years later
*Swoosh, thump* ow, "FUCK YOU, SUN" half my body was just instantly disentigrated. The rest threw against some ruins of some sort. I think profanities while the other half of my brain is stitched together miraculously. Hmmmmm, gravity must have changed or somethin? Allowing so and so to let in solar flares or...idk I can't remember. Hmm, who am I....no idea
1000 or so years later
"And THEN on the seventh day of dead planet dead bullshit the priest did say...." Oh yeah, I can't hear myself...no air after all..ooooh! What's that? I look up in the starry daytime sky, to see a tiny flaming orb of something...a second sun? Ahhh it's getting bigger. "YES FINALLY!" I die a second time.
I wake up in darkness. Hmm. "So what fresh hell is this?".
I'm standing in the living room. My sisters birthday party is underway. I've always hated parties, not to mention it's weird that my family celebrates every birthday in the immediate family. My three older sisters, my mother and father, and three nephews and two nieces. Oh, and two brother in laws. I'm not going to bother with the grievances I have for some of them. I've rehashed them in my mind too many times, and I honestly don't care.
Everything's felt wrong lately, like a warning in the back of my mind. Daydreams and lucid dreams of disaster. Fucks sake I hope so, I'm sick and tired of being bored to death by life. Expectations, milling around aimlessly doing family favors out of boredom. People saying "oh, you have a good soul" heh, yeah right. I am constrained to be good, to nod along helplessly while stupid people derive satisfaction in this mediocre world. Where everything has been discovered, or hidden skillfully by the government. And saying I have a good soul is like saying I'm ugly. Well fuck you too butterface.
But as I'm standing here, brooding, and watching my favorite sister aquire the help of her daughter to open up presents. I get a sense of deja vu. Huh, my sister and her three kids sitting on or beneath the coffee stand, opening presents. The lighting outside indicating it's 4 o clock. ....
..There's a blinding flash of light..
The family looks south out the window. A mushroom cloud begins forming unsettlingly close in the distance. They huddle their loved ones close while I stand there like a goober and sigh "finally". A searing shockwave hits, a picture off the wall slams into my shoulder. I pass out.
...
Agggggghhhhhh! Fuck this hurts! It feels like the right side of my body is on fire! Someone put it out jaysus goddamn fuck it all! Am I blind? What the hell it feels like my eyes are welded shut! Oh wait something's wrong, I can't feel one of my eyelids. I try moving but it feels like my back in the middle is coming apart when I do, like I'm pulling apart stitches. Hang on, I'm not burning. No, this is like when I had serious sunburns on my shoulders one time, only deep in my muscles and particularly on one half of my body, like I've been split in two. Ha Giggity. No, focus....alright now I feel sick quick turn to the side!
Bleergeereerk. Ah that's better. I managed to squeeze my body around underneath some cabinets to puke. But dang it hurt even more to puke. I finally open my left eye to see the neon green result of my nausea sizzling and burning into the ground. Oh that's not good. I get up to push these cabinets off of me when I notice my burning right hand, is not burning, but looks like a stretched out muscle bone hand including my arm.
The fuck! why am I still alive? Is everyone else? I sit up to see my family as curled up blackened skeletons around the now open air living room. The roof completely blown off of the mostly destroyed brick house.
I look at their corpse skeletons and block my emotions. As I've always done before. Not in the mood for feeling despair at the moment. No matter how delicious it is to actually feel something. I decide to vacate the house for the moment. Crossing the burning trees of the front yard to bask in this now presumably dead world.
About what I expected, Down the hill from my house and beyond everything is burned. Or at the very least blackened. I hear screeching animals probably a few miles behind the house towards town. In their final death throes I expect. The barn at the bottom of the hill is collapsed. Including the barn to the side of the house. And GODDAMNIT will this pain across my body ever end?
I rummage around in the house for a shard of mirror. I also have discovered my right leg looks like a greenish draugr leg from one of my favorite videogames. After finding it I am slightly appalled yet interested.
"HAH! Cool, I look like two-face from Batman. Hmm, sort of", My right side looks like a ghoul, and my left, normal, if a little yellowish green. I feel a lurch in my chest when I look at my family "nope, none of that."
I don't see the point in burying them. That ritual is/was for the religious, and those without the capacity to revisit their memories. My family is gone, now just a gaggle of decomposing bones. I've never liked the idea of funeral homes and the like. I'd much rather remember them as they were anytime, than visit a marker in the ground to remember, so I leave.
I decide to walk towards the other family members residences in this country area. The result was similar, all gone. I catch the glimpse of quite a few more flashes of light in the distance during. Got blown back a bit from the late boomers. I decide just to roam around. Heading towards the city. I seem not to get hungry. Maybe being fed by radiation I suppose? Idk. The nuclear winter is gonna suck.
1 year later
So fuck black rain, and now, fuck winter. I have found nothing, NOTHING. At some point I found a partially intact library to read at, but most of the pages got dissolved in the open air building, and the cold froze the books. Anyways, im still wandering around. Legs breaking off from the cold and then reforming again. Seems like it's hard for me to die. Oh yes, I tried jumping off a cliff and drowning myself. Nope, radiation heals me. And no I will not stop walking. I will not be forced to live buried beneath refuse. So I walk.
10 years later
Yay! The nuclear winter is slowly ending! Sun seems brighter somehow. Yesh, my precious sun! Ah the frozen ocean is beee utiful! Ooh I'm sizzling with delight. Oh yes I'm sizzling in pain! How wonderful. Not that YOU can hurt me sun, pretty sure you are keeping meh alive using your delicious solar radiation.
100 years later
*Swoosh, thump* ow, "FUCK YOU, SUN" half my body was just instantly disentigrated. The rest threw against some ruins of some sort. I think profanities while the other half of my brain is stitched together miraculously. Hmmmmm, gravity must have changed or somethin? Allowing so and so to let in solar flares or...idk I can't remember. Hmm, who am I....no idea
1000 or so years later
"And THEN on the seventh day of dead planet dead bullshit the priest did say...." Oh yeah, I can't hear myself...no air after all..ooooh! What's that? I look up in the starry daytime sky, to see a tiny flaming orb of something...a second sun? Ahhh it's getting bigger. "YES FINALLY!" I die a second time.
I wake up in darkness. Hmm. "So what fresh hell is this?".
31-35, M