Saying Awkward Things

I’ve been introspecting lately, and I’ve noticed that a recurring theme in my life is that, for a quiet person, I’ve said a lot of socially unacceptable things throughout my life, even when I was little. I’ve alienated more than one or two friends for life with some strange things I’ve said. On a possibly related note, I’ve never had a girlfriend before and, since I was little, have had some really odd ways of expressing my attraction. So there has to be some kind of diagnosis for all this, right?

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hartfire

Worth getting tested by a shrink. Maybe you might be a bit Aspergic (higher end of A.S.), or perhaps impulsive which can be one of the 18 traits of ADHD (no correlation with IQ). If the diagnosis is positive, you can get help to improve your social skills.
If it's negative, you can still get help by reading about and/or doing courses in Non-Violent Communication (NVC). You can look it up on line and watch Marshall Rosenberg demonstrating on YouTube. You can also find or create a free weekly practice group. NVC is about learning how to listen with empathy, how to hear and recognise the emotional tone and needs in what people are saying. Recognising their need makes it far easier to respond in ways that they welcome.
A good way to initiate conversation is to ask about people's interests, passions or latest concerns, and then draw them out about those topics. It involves being curious and genuinely wanting to get to know people. If they reciprocate by showing an equal interest in you (ie, asking similar questions of you) then you may have the beginnings of a possible friendship.
As for expressing attraction, it's better to wait and develop rapport first. If that develops, then try the open and honest approach, "I feel attracted to you." That gives her the opportunity to say whether she feels the same or not. If it's a no, be prepared to accept a no graciously, ie, the friendship doesn't end; it just doesn't progress and leaves you free to create and explore other friendships.
If you [i]do[/i] have a neurological condition, you might find that a woman with the same issue would makes a more compatible partner.

Really · 80-89, M

I was a teenage guest at my school pal's family gathering, in his home. One of his out-of-town aunts asked if I could drive her to the bus station. I had recently taken the cover off my car's driveshaft to work on it. Thinking of a skirted person sitting close to that whirling shaft, I said - in front of everybody - "OK but if you come with me you'll have to keep your legs crossed".

OOPS! Red face, red face; "No. no I just meant" .... but there was no escaping the ridicule that followed.

smiler2012 · 56-60

@Theyitis 🤔yes you seem too have some issues and people really show ignorance and lack of compassion and tend too shy away. perhaps you need too have it looked into as yes it does seem a little unnatural to not be able to control your thoughts and speaking out of term in an irrational manner

milkfarmerguy · 31-35, M

A small degree of autism sounds like it fits what your are describing.

Theyitis · 36-40, M

@milkfarmerguy I took an online test. I scored 24 out of 50. I had to pay $3.99 to read my results. It said 0-25 indicates few or no autistic traits. I also read an article describing 10 signs that you might have Asperger’s. About half or maybe a little less of the traits I thought, that definitely sounds like me, but the others didn’t seem to describe me at all.

milkfarmerguy · 31-35, M

@Theyitis yeah thats why i said small to not get you worried, becuz its a spectrum disorder meaning if u are high on the spectrum u cant function in society but if u are low on the spectrum u have some quirks but u can still function in society (why they call it high functioning autism)

So its a spectrum and they can talk about it and write about it all they want but its a thing in the brain and noone can measure it so noone really knows how low the spectrum goes. To me it sounds like you are super low on the spectrum and on the fence tbh so its nothing to worry too much about, just keep in mind ur like this in social situations and correct urself when needed, if u feel the need to apologize for something awkward u said its best to do it right away and explain u have some social quirks, thats it and than move on.

Also if u do happen be low on the spectrum and you married someone else who was, ur kids will end up much high on the spectrum, keep that in mind just in case

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