Why I cannot stand the Overprotective Dad Trope
The Overprotective dad trope, where a dad is shown to be overprotective of his daughter when it comes to dating, grilling and acting all intimidating and angry towards any guy she dates or who wants to date her, is a very common, recurring trope among TV shows and films, perhaps even the most common trope of all of them, particularly among american sitcoms. We're supposed to find it funny and cute, seeing how this father cares so much for his daughter like this.
However, I find it nothing but most infuriating, exasperating, anti-feminist and patriarchal, as it clearly shows how these dads are claiming to own their daughters, that they are the ones who are in charge of them and take all control, making all the rules, decisions etc for their love/dating lives, because they are their father, a big, tough, patriarchal man, and their daughters here are just seen as "weak, delicate and naive" little girls who need their father to protect them in such a ridiculous, absurd, irrational way. It really infuriates me, as it is clearly most anti-feminist and patriarchal to suggest a dad owns his daughter likes this, like she is his personal property for him to protect and control, and has to control and make the rules for her love/dating life, because she is too "naive, weak and innocent", yet is has been used as a very recurring and ultimately most overused comedy trope, something we're supposed to laugh and "Aww" at. It's the fact as well these are sitcoms from the early 00s as well, as I can accept it more from stuff that's meant to take place in the olden days, when times were very different, being most traditional, rigid and patriarchal, as I can accept that as just simply being how things were back then, but that fact that this has prolonged into modern day comedy, where it's not even being used ironically, is indeed most infuriating and exasperating.
8 Simple Rules for dating my teenage daughter and My Wife and Kids are the very worst sitcoms for this that I have come across. 8 Simple Rules for dating my teenage daughter even has an Overprotective Dad trope in the title of the show, as the premise is of course all about a dad who is indeed most overprotective of his daughters, clearly being most patriarchal and controlling of their love/dating lives by having these "8 simple rules" he intends to give to any guy that wants to date his daughters, which really most infuriates me, as he is actually controlling their love/dating lives, coming up with these rules for any guy that wants to date them, as if they are his personal property that he'd like to protect, because they are his "little girls", who he clearly sees as too weak and naive to be able to protect themselves, so he, as a man/patriarch, needs to create rules for them when it comes to the guys they date. My Wife and Kids is also really bad for this trope, overusing it most painfully when it comes to the father/patriarch being most ridiculously overprotective of his teenage daughter's love life, being obsessed with her virginity, going on and on about how he doesn't want her to date because she's worried this guy will get her pregnant, as guys are "little horndogs", when she goes on her first date, as well as spying on her in the cinema, and any time she is with this guy or just has the slightest romantic interaction he'll get all overprotective by grilling and trying to intimidate this guy. Even when he realizes her boyfriend is very religious, he is still obsessed with her virginity and constantly grilling and trying to intimidate this guy. Many US sitcoms seem to have this trope, nearly every one perhaps, some more than others no doubt, becoming an ultimate, most painfully cringe-worthy cliche.
Something really annoying that I've come across in some sitcoms if the dad just finds out this guy is dating his daughter or has slept with her, when the guy hasn't even done anything wrong and he has no reason to be concerned, just finding out something completely normal and natural, he'll suddenly get all angry with the guy and start chasing him or something, being like "Urghhh you dare go near my daughter!", even when the characters are fully grown adults in this case. It really is most annoying, exasperating and painfully cliched and cringe-worthy. I mean it won't even fit in with anything, they'll just be like "Oh I feel we should insert the overprotective dad trope here just to make it seem more entertaining (translate: cliched!).
It is very anti-feminist suggesting that fathers own their daughters like this, like they are their own personal property to protect, seeing them as weak, naive, helpless little girls who need a big, macho, tough man to protect them from all these "horny boys", and that they are the ones who should try taking control of their love lives by making all these rules for what a guy can and can't do to his daughter and her body. It is a terrible message to promote as well, as by being an overprotective dad like this, it does not encourage a girl to be strong and independent, as it is not encouraging them to make their own decisions and take control of their own lives like this, which can be the case for any type of over-protectiveness from a parent at that. Dads should just simply just warn their (teenage) daughters to be careful and trust them, providing them with a sense of autonomy, allow them to make their own decisions and rules, as this way they can develop a stronger sense of autonomy, independence and strength in life, while being as overprotective as this, creating all the rules for them and trying to control their life makes out they are too weak and always need protecting by a man. This and the whole patriarchal tradition, that of course very much exists in real life, of a woman's boyfriend having to ask her father for permission to marry her, again suggesting that she is "his property", and the father then giving his daughter away at the wedding, so she is now owned by her husband, another man, has always really annoyed and exasperated me, being my biggest feminist issue, being something I find most anti-feminist at that.
A similar trope is often shown with mums as well being all wary of any girl her son brings home/dates, because she worries her "baby boy" is going to be taken away from her. It's not so much over-protectiveness with the mum and son one, or at least not in the same way as the Overprotective Dad trope, as of course the woman isn't usually seen to be a big, tough protector like the dad is, but rather the mum showing all hostility towards her son's girlfriend, and even though is isn't a recurrent as the Overprotective Dad trope, it still is very much annoyingly overused and cliched. It's also another annoying, narrow-minded, cliched stereotype suggesting a mother should always hate her son's girlfriend/daughter in law, and that the two main females in a guys life have got to always be at odds with each other, suggesting that's what women are like, always arguing and being all passive-aggressive and bitchy with one another.
Both these tropes are most ridiculous and unreasonable, as it shows these fathers and mothers getting mad at the most natural and normal things in life, like their daughters dating in the father's case and their sons dating in the mother's case. I can understand more if they are mad at these guys and girls respectively if they have actually hurt their daughters or sons respectively, like if there's an actual reason and motivation to be so angry and upset with them, but even then why does it only have to be the dad who gets mad at the guys for hurting their daughters instead of the mums and likewise for the mums who only get mad at the girls who hurt their sons. Hopefully though these tropes have died out or are dying out though.
However, I find it nothing but most infuriating, exasperating, anti-feminist and patriarchal, as it clearly shows how these dads are claiming to own their daughters, that they are the ones who are in charge of them and take all control, making all the rules, decisions etc for their love/dating lives, because they are their father, a big, tough, patriarchal man, and their daughters here are just seen as "weak, delicate and naive" little girls who need their father to protect them in such a ridiculous, absurd, irrational way. It really infuriates me, as it is clearly most anti-feminist and patriarchal to suggest a dad owns his daughter likes this, like she is his personal property for him to protect and control, and has to control and make the rules for her love/dating life, because she is too "naive, weak and innocent", yet is has been used as a very recurring and ultimately most overused comedy trope, something we're supposed to laugh and "Aww" at. It's the fact as well these are sitcoms from the early 00s as well, as I can accept it more from stuff that's meant to take place in the olden days, when times were very different, being most traditional, rigid and patriarchal, as I can accept that as just simply being how things were back then, but that fact that this has prolonged into modern day comedy, where it's not even being used ironically, is indeed most infuriating and exasperating.
8 Simple Rules for dating my teenage daughter and My Wife and Kids are the very worst sitcoms for this that I have come across. 8 Simple Rules for dating my teenage daughter even has an Overprotective Dad trope in the title of the show, as the premise is of course all about a dad who is indeed most overprotective of his daughters, clearly being most patriarchal and controlling of their love/dating lives by having these "8 simple rules" he intends to give to any guy that wants to date his daughters, which really most infuriates me, as he is actually controlling their love/dating lives, coming up with these rules for any guy that wants to date them, as if they are his personal property that he'd like to protect, because they are his "little girls", who he clearly sees as too weak and naive to be able to protect themselves, so he, as a man/patriarch, needs to create rules for them when it comes to the guys they date. My Wife and Kids is also really bad for this trope, overusing it most painfully when it comes to the father/patriarch being most ridiculously overprotective of his teenage daughter's love life, being obsessed with her virginity, going on and on about how he doesn't want her to date because she's worried this guy will get her pregnant, as guys are "little horndogs", when she goes on her first date, as well as spying on her in the cinema, and any time she is with this guy or just has the slightest romantic interaction he'll get all overprotective by grilling and trying to intimidate this guy. Even when he realizes her boyfriend is very religious, he is still obsessed with her virginity and constantly grilling and trying to intimidate this guy. Many US sitcoms seem to have this trope, nearly every one perhaps, some more than others no doubt, becoming an ultimate, most painfully cringe-worthy cliche.
Something really annoying that I've come across in some sitcoms if the dad just finds out this guy is dating his daughter or has slept with her, when the guy hasn't even done anything wrong and he has no reason to be concerned, just finding out something completely normal and natural, he'll suddenly get all angry with the guy and start chasing him or something, being like "Urghhh you dare go near my daughter!", even when the characters are fully grown adults in this case. It really is most annoying, exasperating and painfully cliched and cringe-worthy. I mean it won't even fit in with anything, they'll just be like "Oh I feel we should insert the overprotective dad trope here just to make it seem more entertaining (translate: cliched!).
It is very anti-feminist suggesting that fathers own their daughters like this, like they are their own personal property to protect, seeing them as weak, naive, helpless little girls who need a big, macho, tough man to protect them from all these "horny boys", and that they are the ones who should try taking control of their love lives by making all these rules for what a guy can and can't do to his daughter and her body. It is a terrible message to promote as well, as by being an overprotective dad like this, it does not encourage a girl to be strong and independent, as it is not encouraging them to make their own decisions and take control of their own lives like this, which can be the case for any type of over-protectiveness from a parent at that. Dads should just simply just warn their (teenage) daughters to be careful and trust them, providing them with a sense of autonomy, allow them to make their own decisions and rules, as this way they can develop a stronger sense of autonomy, independence and strength in life, while being as overprotective as this, creating all the rules for them and trying to control their life makes out they are too weak and always need protecting by a man. This and the whole patriarchal tradition, that of course very much exists in real life, of a woman's boyfriend having to ask her father for permission to marry her, again suggesting that she is "his property", and the father then giving his daughter away at the wedding, so she is now owned by her husband, another man, has always really annoyed and exasperated me, being my biggest feminist issue, being something I find most anti-feminist at that.
A similar trope is often shown with mums as well being all wary of any girl her son brings home/dates, because she worries her "baby boy" is going to be taken away from her. It's not so much over-protectiveness with the mum and son one, or at least not in the same way as the Overprotective Dad trope, as of course the woman isn't usually seen to be a big, tough protector like the dad is, but rather the mum showing all hostility towards her son's girlfriend, and even though is isn't a recurrent as the Overprotective Dad trope, it still is very much annoyingly overused and cliched. It's also another annoying, narrow-minded, cliched stereotype suggesting a mother should always hate her son's girlfriend/daughter in law, and that the two main females in a guys life have got to always be at odds with each other, suggesting that's what women are like, always arguing and being all passive-aggressive and bitchy with one another.
Both these tropes are most ridiculous and unreasonable, as it shows these fathers and mothers getting mad at the most natural and normal things in life, like their daughters dating in the father's case and their sons dating in the mother's case. I can understand more if they are mad at these guys and girls respectively if they have actually hurt their daughters or sons respectively, like if there's an actual reason and motivation to be so angry and upset with them, but even then why does it only have to be the dad who gets mad at the guys for hurting their daughters instead of the mums and likewise for the mums who only get mad at the girls who hurt their sons. Hopefully though these tropes have died out or are dying out though.
26-30, F
