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michaelj0rdan

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I love basketball even tho I'm not the real Michael Jordan

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Tomorrow is my annual 4th of July party

i like when people visit me, but i hate having to take down my forts so they can sit somewhere 🤔

Its ok to have imaginary friends. Mine is a pony

I saw two rabbits today 🤔 or possibly the same rabbit twice

if i could have any superpower, i would make anime real

owls look like big mean tree cats. i hate them with all of my heart and soul

Mustve had 8 sodas last night. another wild and crazy night

just relax and have a good time on Saturday - your pal mj

ants are working together to lift my house up, and bring it somewhere

Well the sherpa I hired on craigs list turned out to just be a big scam

for some reason i thought french toast was just a big square french fry. this changes everything

when i'm with somebody i just love to saunter, and also to sashay

you have to stop telling cops that your michael Jordan when you get a speeding ticket, i just got the biggest bill

I can't wait until I grow even taller next year

a ceiling fan wont cut a bagel in half, not even on top speed

my belt keeps my pants up. the pant loops keep the belt on. who's the real hero?

where can i find reliable beef recipes?

doctor said my colesterol is the highest hes ever seen. my greatness extends past basketball. im unstoppable

they don't serve panda, at a panda express.so peeved

can u imagine a world without war or pizza? i surely cant

pro tip: add complicated words to your vocabulary to appear more croissant - your pal MJ

i only sleep on the top bunk when i feel i earned it. today ,i earned it.

i just wish there was a way to untoast bread. its making me insane.

Why are cribs just for a baby?

what a beaut. -MJ

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pro tip: why dip chips in salsa when you can just pour it all in the bag? work smarter,not harder - your pal MJ

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