a ceiling fan wont cut a bagel in half, not even on top speed

Now you tell me. Do you have any idea how many hundreds of bagels I've destroyed, trying to get the ceiling fan to slice them? Well, I guess it's time to stop trying to be fancy and buy myself a good sharp knife.

May 10/17
5:56 am
EDT

I cannot even picture how that would be accomplished

Just sharpen the blades. Anything is possible

I hear that if you sharpen the blades, set it to high speed and then balance the bagel on top of your head then it will work.

The latest expensive scientific discovery, eh? 😂

Did you try holding it with your foot?

That's right, all this time, how could I have been so blind?