Obsession and trauma bonds

He's never been away for this long. Not a word for almost two months now and I'm becoming more and more obsessed with him and trying to find out what's going on with him through social media (his likes and comments). Meanwhile, he's following and unfollowing girls from his past (girls he never had a real thing with) . It's pathetic. I'm pathetic but I can't help the loneliness and torment I'm feeling. I don't want to be obsessed like this but this is where I am now. I don't think he deserves to be in my life but I can't help how obsessed I am with him